Why Did I Fall For You?

Four months ago, while on tour, I met this guy who was very friendly and nice to me. 
He gave me his phone no.and told me I can contact him anytime and ask for any assistance since I'm new to the place.
I thought it was a sweet and very friendly gesture, but I never contacted him for any assistance.
Everyday I'd see him at the hotel, he'd greet me and talk to me despite his being busy at work in the hotel.
One day, he told me to go to this famous cafe at a certain area from the itinerary. He'd buy me coffee and dessert and we can talk about anything, start a friendship, etc. I told him it was a wonderful idea.. and he said, "yay! i've got a date!" I was surprised by what he said... I don't know if it's in their culture to consider THAT as a date. I replied.."What? A date? No!" I didn't want him to interpret my actions as something else.
So we didn't go to that cafe. 

The next day while at the lobby, he asked me if I'd seen the park at the back of the hotel, and if not, he'd like to take me there so we could talk.
we bought some things to eat at a nearby convenience store and went to the park. there we talked about life in general, about his culture, his country and some tourist spots in their place. when we went back to the hotel, he said that our "date" was fun though short. (what a weird guy).

My stay in that place was a wonderful experience as I not only got to know about the country's culture but I also made a good friend.
So the guy and I exchanged contact nos. so we could keep in touch.

After about a month I received an email from him and since that day we talked about a lot of things- work, hobbies, relationships (he had broken up with his gf), etc.
as I got to know him more, I couldn't help but fall for him. T_T
Now, he has found love again. And they're happy.
I can't help but be jealous of the lucky girl. 
I couldn't tell him I miss him. T_T
Sounds cheesy and I feel stupid for developing feelings for him. Why did I interpret his actions/friendly gestures as some romantic actions? 
I hate myself for creating these fantasies. I'm breaking my own heart. T_T

machuchan machuchan
18-21, F
Nov 15, 2011