Hurt By the One I Love
I have being with this man for as long as I can remember, in my eyes he could do no wrong, for the reason that he treats me so great, I have being through so much in the last ten years, I lost 2 of my nephews, one was my best friend, and they are missed by the family deeply, well I have being very sick with depression and panic attacks, for as long as I can recall, anyways I always thought that this man I have being with for so long was the most wonderful person I ever met, I was lucky to have him in my life I always said, he was there through all of my pain,sorrow and darkest moments, his kind words always made me feel better, he was my shoulder to cry on, to me he was the perfect man, but pretty soon I started to notice some changes in him, he looked worried and very tired, I kind of started to worry about him, the reason in my part, was he has two jobs and he works very hard, I was worry that he might get sick or worst have a heart attack, he looked very sick and pale, so I was thinking it had to be the job, little did I know it was more worst then that, our relationship was kind of not going so well in the love department, do to the fact that I was sick and always in and out of the hospital, with depression and other illnesses, the thing was that I decided to go and visit my mother and sister's, this was in September 2006, I was away for 2'weeks, I had a lot to think while I was down visiting my family, so when I finally came home, I sat down with my boyfriend and told him that we needed to talk about our relationship, I told him that I was finally coming out of my depression and that I was willing to work on our relationship, we talked for a long time, we both agreed that we still loved each other so very much and that was that, so I thought!! ten days later he told me he needed to confess something to me, he looked so sad worried and hurt, he lay his head on my lap and started crying, the worst thing that came into my mind was, he is dying! I was so wrong!! never in my wildest dreams could I have Imagine what was coming next!!! he first told me that what he was going to say might end our relationship, so I jokinly asked, what? is some girl pregnant!! he looked at me and said yes!! well was pregnant and gave birth to a boy six month ago, the story was, he was seeing another woman for 3'years he said, nothing serious he said, still love me he said's, is over and he is not sure if the child is really his!!! he is so sorry and remorseful, would take the rest of his life making it up to me he Said's!!! my reaction? I didn't even Wow!! but the pain, hurt, anger, betrayed by the only person whom I thought would never hurt me was there, the one person I trusted the most, was the one who hurt me the deepest, is being five month since the confession and I'm still hurting, at times I get very angry, how could he had taken such a dangerous risk, with his health and mine, I was so angry for the fact that he never even thought about protecting himself, in November I went to see my doctor and took an Aids test, thank god that everything came out negative, right now we are trying to work things out, is hard for me, for I don't trust him anymore, but I do love him, I'm seeing a counselor, and is helping me alot, I'm fighting depression again for is trying to snick back in, I do cry alot I guess because I'm afraid to go back into that dark depressing place, I do pray alot, and I know that I will make it through this with gods help I know I can.