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Hurt By the One I Love

I have being with this man for as long as I can remember, in my eyes he could do no wrong, for the reason that he treats me so great, I have being through so much in the last ten years, I lost 2 of my nephews, one was my best friend, and they are missed by the family deeply, well I have being very sick with depression and panic attacks, for as long as I can recall, anyways I always thought that this man I have being with for so long was the most wonderful person I ever met, I was lucky to have him in my life I always said, he was there through all of my pain,sorrow and darkest moments, his kind words always made me feel better, he was my shoulder to cry on, to me he was the perfect man, but pretty soon I started to notice some changes in him, he looked worried and very tired, I kind of started to worry about him, the reason in my part, was he has two jobs and he works very hard, I was worry that he might get sick or worst have a heart attack, he looked very sick and pale, so I was thinking it had to be the job, little did I know it was more worst then that, our relationship was kind of not going so well in the love department, do to the fact that I was sick and always in and out of the hospital, with depression and other illnesses, the thing was that I decided to go and visit my mother and sister's, this was in September 2006, I was away for 2'weeks, I had a lot to think while I was down visiting my family, so when I finally came home, I sat down with my boyfriend and told him that we needed to talk about our relationship, I told him that I was finally coming out of my depression and that I was willing to work on our relationship, we talked  for a long time, we both agreed that we still loved each other so very much and that was that, so I thought!! ten days later he told me he needed to confess something to me, he looked so sad worried and hurt, he lay his head on my lap and started crying, the worst thing that came into my mind was, he is dying! I was so wrong!! never in my wildest dreams could I have Imagine what was coming next!!! he first told me that what he was going to say might end our relationship, so I jokinly asked, what?  is some girl pregnant!! he looked at me and said yes!! well was pregnant and gave birth to a boy six month ago, the story was, he was seeing another woman for 3'years he said, nothing serious he said, still love me he said's, is over and he is not sure if the child is really his!!! he is so sorry and remorseful, would take the rest of his life making it up to me he Said's!!! my reaction?  I didn't even Wow!! but the  pain, hurt, anger, betrayed by the only person whom I thought would never hurt me was there, the one person I trusted the most, was the one who hurt me the deepest, is being five month since the confession and I'm still hurting, at times I get very angry, how could he had taken such a dangerous risk, with his health and mine, I was so angry for the fact that he never even thought about protecting himself, in November I went to see my doctor and took an Aids test, thank god that everything came out negative, right now we are trying to work things out, is hard for me, for I don't trust him anymore, but I do love him, I'm seeing a counselor, and is helping me alot, I'm fighting depression again for is trying to snick back in, I do cry alot I guess because I'm afraid to go back into that dark depressing place, I do pray alot, and I know that I will make it through this with gods help I know I can.

angelsheart angelsheart 26-30, F 25 Responses Mar 16, 2007

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no actually things won't get better don't tell her that don't lie to her nothing is ever going to get better with this idiot if you keep going back to him he's going to do it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and you're never going to be done with him because he's going to destroy you so don't lie to her and tell her it's going to get better because these bastards never get better they continue to harm women and they don't care because that's life in 2013 they all so no I'm sorry to tell you it's not going to get any better don't lie to her and tell her thatnoon because that's their life human detritus so no I'm sorry to tell you it's not going to get

you foolish girls run back to these douchebags who continue to hurt you and make you feel horrible and give you diseases and a nice guy like me I can't get 5 minutes to speak to a pretty woman am I better you bet who are these douche bag Jersey Shore Rejects was spiked hair and fake tans who screw every girl in sight make babies and never pay for any of them yet I'm a decent human being have no diseases have a good job and have a lot to offer a woman and I can't buy a date oh my god I hate this world is upside down women don't need a guy like me they need some garbage pile muscle boy like Jersey Shore lol washed out who make them cry and make them miserable all they want is a big black 15 inch **** stuck up to their tonsils giving them a heads and I would I don't have any diseases I've never been sick I don't ever heard a girl I've never broken a girls heart I've never made a girl cry but no you're not interested in me you want the evil douchebag who's going to break your heart and make you cry and make you feel terrible and you'll run back to him time after time after time and help us his not at leave you laying there on satisfied hey f*** I make love all these ever known how to do is f*** all I've ever done is make love to the woman that I've been lucky enough to have in my life God you all deserve each other oh my God do I hate this world what kind of people are you that you go running to these awful people you keep going back to them what has happened to this world

Well, sweet jesus I could have wrote this story, except he didn't confess and no baby. But all the other things mentioned were the same. Its such a dreadful experience being hurt like this. I pray things are getting better for you and your marriage. I continue to press on and do counseling still. Guess I will see where I end up in a year from now.

My fiance would disappear for weeks at a time and I always said to myself he is not calling but he will text at certain times of the day, so at the time I figure he was with a female I know your pain I'm feeling your hurt friendand my prayers go out to you.

Things will get better

it takes more courage to stay and its alot easier to just walk away. Ive been in that same situation. no matter what its hard staying or leaving. But know that you deserve the best and there will be someone out there that would never do that to you. Im going threw my heart being broken right now I did everything for him and now im pregnant and he doesnt care at all. I know the best thing is to get over him and live life. I cannot forgive my x he slept with escorts while im pregnant and didnt use protection. I feel for you. good luck sweetie

Well. I am in his position right now. I mean I never got any one pregnant and we were broken up when I thought it might be a good idea to see someone else. But that was a bad idea. I realized then, and not because of someone else, just how much she meant to me. She found out from someone that I had seen someone else and **it hit the fan. Now I sit here alone. Waiting for her to phone. I realize now I made a mistake based out of fear. And I never meant to hurt anyone. So I think you are doing the right thing by staying.

Yes I post my story and a lot that you said about his being there for you and all that bullshit is pretty much what I left out of my story. Fact is I am waiting for the same confession you have received but I don't want to wait around anymore to hear it.......So I will wait for my mother to pass, then I am going to walk in the river and take a swim that will be the end.

find God, he's the only true love. I'm married for 10 years with a man that doesn't love me. you should be glad it happened now and not later when you have kids in your life like I do. I wish I had ended our relationship then and not wait this long. it hurts more because there are kids in the middle.

I hope you have realized that no one that truly loves you would hurt you so much....that's not love.....I hope you are no longer with him...maybe you can still be friends but you deserve so much more in a partner. Be strong and do what's best for you.

be brave-be strong-be happy always.this all part of human life.

Sweetie, I am so sorry that you have had this experience and I know that it cannot be easy. How are you doing now? I see that you have written this in 2007. Your mentioning that he did not protect himself and had a relationship with another woman for 3 years upsets me very much because as you indicated, he was putting your health in jeopardy. I pray that you are better now and that you have moved on and have found someone who appreciates you and only you. When we give a man our hearts, our bodies and all of our trust we are gambling of course but we do not feel as though we are gambling when we are with someone who is so incredibly wonderful that we cannot imagine living without them. Please do everything you possibly can do to be happy, it is not easy, it is never easy but know that you are not alone and that eventually it gets better. God Bless You and those who you love and may your 2 nephews rest in peace.

One week ago I got my heart broken for the first time I guess... and after reading your story even I am sad as hell I feel ashamed you are SO STRONG and your gonna go over him for sure.. he made a mistake and yes he is human, but still you need to love yourself first and realize that he is not the one for you... God knows better.... stay strong..

I WOULD TELL YOU YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT, BUT I HAVE LOVED AND LOST AND I MISS HAVING SOMEONE TO COME HOME TO AT NIGHT. YOU JUST HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT YOU ARE WILLING TO DEAL WITH. IM NOT GREAT, IM NOT HAPPY, BUT I KNOW I WOULD BE MISERABLE IF MY MAN CAME HOME AND TOLD ME HE AND SOME HEIFFER WERE HAVING A BABY. LET HIM BE WITH HER...I FEEL LIKE EVEN THOUGH I AM ALONE, ...I RESPECT MYSELF, AND IM NOT GOING TO LET ANY SUCKA DISRESPECT ME!!

I cannot imagine your pain. He seems like a good man who made some terrible decisions. Nobody deserves to go through what your going through.

Some guys are just plain out idiots, girl. I hope you work things out and get help and feel better about yourself.

I hope you work things out with him. You seem to love him still and he does love you too. If you have lost that connection with him, maybe you should let go and begin the healing process. cheers.

Sorry, but perhaps you should stop thinking about yourself and your problems, and start thinking about this man, who god only knows why has stuck with you through thick and thin. <br />
HIS life has been hell whilst you have suffered with your problems. <br />
Stop thinking about yourself and start loving him he needs it and is probably more depressed than you. You realy dont know how lucky you are for this man to still be around. <br />
Start moving because one day you might just regret it and remember to thank god each and everyday for giving you such a wonderful person that stuck and hope that one day you realy will deserve him. Enjoy every moment together and you will then enjoy your life.

i can relate the exact thing happened to me. my man of three years just came clear about a girl he got pregant an he dont no if the baby is his.I also found out that during the time i was pregant with his child so wsa this girl our kids r three months apart.he was also cheating on me with other girls through out the relationship i found out.This time was the last draw i forgive him for the baby an girls an we decided to start iver. But now i just found out the he was seing nother girl for three months behind my back i want to kill him or even myself.But u no what i will make it through cause i have the Lord on my side.I am just telling u cause even tho they cry an plead they dont mean it once they no u will forgive them no matter what they continue to cheat have strenth an leave before he hurts u again an he will cause they can help it no one can make him change but God so my advice is run because it will happen again unless he finds Jesus

I am sorry this happened to you. No matter what you were going through you didn't deserve this. It must be very hard for you to forgive him when you cannot forget this kind of thing. I am sure you have already asked this of him but if not, I wonder if he would have continued the affair had there not been a baby. He was with her for 3 years. That is a very long time to be deceitful. The baby made things much more difficult because now there is support issues and I am sure that he is the type of person who would want to be there for his child. It must have been very hard for him to confess to you knowing what you were going through but at the same time he should have thought about the impact to you in the first place when he started the affair and he didn't. I am not trying to be mean in anyway, it is just that perhaps the best step for you is to take time away for you and figure out how to heal your self first because if you cannot trust him there is no relationship. You cannot live in a lie. You must be true to your self. Also if he is to be a better husband he needs to know that you are OK with him. He needs to be there for you not out of fear of you leaving but because he knows you are in it all the way. I know it that is was his fault but if he really means to change and love you solely now he will need this from you. This is why you need to get things sorted out. Honestly if it were me I would probably leave him but that is not the right answer for everyone. It is up to him to gain your trust back and up to you to let him in again. I wish you luck and hope things work out the best way they can for you.

Sometimes what we give focus to can bring alot of pain. Obviously you have had some close people "leave" you because of the deaths in your family and now someone that you felt you had a future with. These circumstances are beyond your control. The fact that you have expirienced so much pain is reason to believe that you are strong. Yes,you are a survivor and people need what you can offer. In an irony,by thinking of others, you give to yourself. Learn to love yourself more.I'm sensing that you give much love to other people but not enough to yourself. There's a lot of pain in life but there is balance in joy. It's not "out there", you carry with you all the time because it's inside you.

I would be very careful. There are certain people in this world that would never cheat on another person. There are other people that would. I think that him cheating on you is a clear indication of who he really is. He falls into the latter category. I tried to forgive and forget, but the trust is lost & that person will never be the same person you relied on from the beginning. I feel that people are who they are , and very few people actually ever change. Good luck & I hope you are doing better now...a few years later...

I truly feel your problem, and i apologize on behalf of everyman that treated a girl who loved them as your guy did..... let me tell you something, theres nothing worst than being with someone you dont trust...... but if you really love them and if they CHANGE their behaviour they might get a second chance, I am with someone who did the same thing but only kiss the guy, not anything else... he was her EX and I would never trust her again, but I do love her, maybe is not the same story but is the same idea so you have my sympathy... you just better watch out girl, cuz you know? a cheater ONCE, a CHEATER all of their life!.<br />
Just dont love them as much as you did before, cuz you might end in the same place, with the same feelings but now feeling something else: HATRED against you becuz you TRUST the little cheater...

I am so sorry about that... I think it is pretty difficult to deal with this kind of situation, but you are stronger than you imagine... Best of luck!

I wish you the best of luck with your life...I had very similar issues with my husband. He cheated on me, and got someone else pregnant. Not once but many times. Two of the girls who got pregnant lost there babies to miscarriage. The third, whom he is with now...is still pregnant, 5 months along as far as I know. I cant trust him, nobody can. I never believed once a cheater always a cheater until I gave my husband chance after chance....and he just kept doing it. I hope for your sake your husband learned his lesson and never treats you that badly again. Its a very painful experience, and extremely hard to ever trust him again. I always found myself questioning his whereabouts, his every little move. I hope you can move past this better than I did.

You are strong. I am sorry that happened to you. This world has gone crazy. I hope you get through this depression and I am glad you are seeking help. Good luck to you both.

U seem such a strong woman u didnt desrve this pain and hurt i hope u work this mess out with your boyfriend if this relationship is worth fighting for then go for it