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Saw Her Again..............

She stood there beautiful than ever laughing with them, with him.
Her laugh pierced through my heart and made it flutter at the same time. These years were good to her. She's a woman now, grown, beautiful and elegant. My eyes hurt to see her but they couldn’t help themselves trying to greedily absorb their muse.
 Then he grabbed her hand and she stopped flicking her eyes to either side, she was aware of my eyes stalking her, following her every move. At last she smiled looking at him, while he rubbed her hand with his thumb.
I know the feeling, that texture of smooth skin, the one I always want to touch but can barely see now.

The other guy said something making her chuckle again, it was impossible for me to avert my gaze from this exquisite creature that once was mine. She was fidgeting, running her hands in those soft curls, I know that stance. I remember everything. That agitation she’s trying to hide, she knows I’m here ,watching her from just a few feet apart but she ignores like she always did. It was quite quintessential of her. How could she, is still not clear to me. I was never that insignificant. I hope she feels the ounce of what I was feeling
I pushed the volume button of my i-pod one more time,trying to feel anything else other than this. The music  was loud in my years but still unclear, somehow she took away my only sane support by just standing there.
 but my heart stopped,  when they moved towards the doors , she was leaving the train on the next station. I realized we're in same train but  having different destinations and I hoped the time to stop as she just came and stood near me  but looking outside. I was standing, leaning on that glass panels near the doors. How can she still not look at me, when I can see her holding her breath just like I did, trying to smile to something he said, but it was more like a grimace?
Was I the one still causing her that pain, I rejoiced, at least I made her feel something at last if not love.
The train stops, and finally I find those eyes, they looked at me in wonder, like looking at me for the first time and I looked away because they can see the despair in mine,making me vulnerable. The doors shut, shielding me, making me brave again as a found her following my gaze. Her lips parted to say something or perhaps that's what I imagined but soon turned her head understanding it was too late or of no use.
Oh how wrong she's always.......
anonymousanomaly anonymousanomaly 22-25, M 9 Responses May 6, 2012

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i have the same problem i love them but thwy don't want me they ignore me and when i talk to them they tell me to leave them alone i can't stand it i love them so much but i can't have them and i never will

Beautifully written, really you should be a writer. I'd love to hear the background you have with this person, because although it's beautiful, you sound a bit of a stalker. I've had my heart broken so I understood it but please include a little bit of the history so it's not so creepy. If you ever wrote a book- I'll be the first to buy it because you're such a talented writer. Good luck to you

thanks...for your 2 cents...and no I'm not a stalker though i felt like that sometimes

thanks every one ....your kind words gave me support and courage . I would write some more really soon.

beYOUtifully written :) and yes, i gave emphasis on "YOU" because I can see that you are a beautiful man. :) let's all not waste our time thinking of the persons who broke our heart. we will definitely meet a lot of jerks that will make us cry before we can finally meet the right person for us. i realized that heart breaks exist so we can make our selves better, stronger, and more beautiful than ever. cheer up! :) we have to experience a bad experience once in a while, otherwise, we can never appreciate how a good experience feels like. :) happy to know that I am not alone :)

thanks...for your lovely comment.

I could not emigene seeing her or looking at her, it's only been two months... That would totally break me and bring me to depression... I know she's with someone else but I think is better not to go near her.... Since we broke up I refuse to go anywhere near she lives or the places we went to... I changed my barber shop hobbie shop and do not go to the mall.. Have to drive an extra 30 mins to go to another one. I know when I hear her talk or laugh it will ignite that dying fire in my heart but I hope that never happens and by doing all this absolutely helps getting over my love of my life

thanks...

Your writing is beautiful.

thanks...

well dude, first let me say that this was one kick a$$ piece of writing, it was really well-written. Secondly, I know exactly how you feel but maybe my pain would be less if my ex got together with somebody coz I was in a long distance relationship, so I would have the blessing of not knowing but still when we broke up (about 3 weeks ago) it hurt like hell, I feel for you but you gotta stop thinking about her because, from what I read, she doesn't seem to care as much as you do or maybe she's faking not to care as much as you and if she doesn't then why should you ?<br />
<br />
don't let it overwhelm you, find the will to fight it back dude you're a man, it hurts, it burns but life goes on, your job or your studies are more important than this, stop thinking about it and hanging on to the memories, please don't hurt yourself.<br />
<br />
I had my fair share of hurt and pain during my life, but this break up is the worst because she broke a promise (strike one) deleted me from skype and messenger (strike two) and never said sorry, never said goodbye (strike out).<br />
<br />
it's burning and overwhelming and painful but you gotta fight with all the might you have and I always say, nobody's innocent nobody cares, absolutely nobody.<br />
<br />
you take care and hope you get better soon (sorry if that was too long).

hey...thanks man.... I really appreciate your support. well...good news I'm over it...it has been three years now. the funny thing about all of this was that you're as good judge about her as I. I never knew what were her true feelings about me, in my eyes we're perfect. I guess It doesn't makes it any less even if it was long distance like in your case. but well what can we do ,right. this brief meeting happened after 1 year we broke up, I was still dozed in depression and unreality but I finally grasped the truth after that, somehow seeing all this made it real for me. never apologize for words.....they're always less to suffice cheers

I have felt the same ......

thanks for sharing....

I love the way you write......

thanks....