I Feel Like Its Impossible To Move On

I'm 22 years old and i am a mother of two children boy and girl and just found out two weeks ago that Im pregnant with my third child. I've been with the same man from 2007 until now. We broke up in Nov of 08 when my son was just 9 months ago. The relationship wasnt going so well prior to that. He cheated on me and then he begin acting funny towards me not wanting to have sex with me or kiss me because of my weight gain from pregnancy. He ended up leaving me to mess with someone else at his job. He was crazy about this girl he was buying her gifts etc. I found out by looking through his call logs and calling her and speaking to her. I was so hurt and developed a obsession over him and who he was screwing around with. I hacked into his email and phone records and were able to read his emails sent to this girl he was crazy about. In March of 09 I begin sleeping with him a big mistake because my feelings were still there and back in full force. He wouldn't call or text me all week until the weekend to get my son and I would sneak at his house during the late nights just for sex. I allowed myself to lower my standards because I felt like that was the only way I'd be ever to get some attention and emotion out of him. Each time we had sex I would have that hope that one day we will be together. I ended up getting pregnant with my daughter in Oct of 09 through this behavior and he was furious he wanted me to get an abortion so bad. he threatened to hurt me and then said he would walk out of my son life. I took the.emotional abuse the whole pregnancy. I felt very a lone and sad during my pregnancy. When my daughter was born he started coming around and now shes his favorite. I begin sleeping with him again. He ended up.getting a girlfriend while we were on bad terms and I was so hurt because we were still sleeping together. We had sex the whole time he was in a relationship and wr argued about him.having this girlfriend every day. He ended up breaking up with her and me and him became very close like we were in a relationship for like three months until Jan of this year he lied and told me he had sex with someone just to break things off with me. he told me he can't be.commited to me and that he want to explore his options and he want me to do the same. I started going out and went on a few dates with people.for.the first time since Feb of 07!! Anyway I believe he started seeing me going out and he started wanted to hang out and go out and then we had sex and now I'm.pregnant with our third child. He wanted me to get a.abortion but I told him no so I haven't spoken to him in two weeks nor did he check on his children because of the heated.emotional argument.we had. He said he was going to kill.himself and his life is over and that he serious and I need to understand that. I reached out to him last weekend and we spoke briefly and now we have been talking regular until today I asked about going to see avengers and he said he already saw it and I asked was it a date and he said yes like are you serious??!! I'm so hurt and angry. I just want to.move on and be happy. I just want to be set free
minky2488 minky2488
1 Response May 7, 2012

Wow that seems so wrong of him and that relationship seems so bad... why did you allow yourself to repeatedly be in a cycle like that with him... hmm my advice to you is forget and move on with your life because you are just a 'toy around person' to him... you need to seriously move on.. eventhough you have children with him he should help manage but you should move on rather than allowing yourself to be continuously hurt knowing that he will not even change his ways for you and your children or even consider commitment acknowledging the circumstances of your situation.. Move on because he is just foolish and he will continously hurt you with lies... seems as though he just used you and now when the aftermath of what he did arrived he still doesn't want to man up and settle with you....