I Have A Broken Heart But I'm Still Hopeful ... (i Need Some Feedback.)

I'm 21, and I was with my guy for a year and 5 months.
He's the sweetest guy I've ever dated, and also the first guy i've ever dated who treated me right for so long!
I used to be really mean towards him when we first started to date. I thought to myself "This guy is TOO nice." and one day he broke it off with me and told me that he was only doing it because he wanted to show me how it felt to be hurt. We got back together a day latr. I changed my whole attitude towards him. Everything had been going great. I was finally inlove with a guy that not only treated me right but I was finally LETTING him love me...
Two days ago ... I had been having problems with my ex because he was hanging with his friends alot.. So, him and I talked and he asked me to come see him. So, I went over to his house, and he gave me a hug and kept telling me he loved me. He just seemed happy. I was happy. I'm sitting in the car and he tells me he's hungry and he's about to leave to go get food. The first thing I'm thinking is "OMG.. I just got here!" And he's laughing.. So, I get mad... And I'm like "are you rlly leaving?" .. He starts walking towards his car and hes like "I'll text you all day.." And so I go "Ok.." and he goes "I love youuuuuuuuuuu." and I just start backing out of his driveway... And I stick my middle finger up at him and drive off...( I now realized he was just playing with me and I lost my temper.)
8 hrs pass and I haven't heard from him. I'm still mad. Sad. Anxious.
I finally get in touch with him later that day. I'm still mad. He answers. He told me he was sleeping.. and that he was rlly tired and was in a "IDONTCARE" mood but I was so mad I didn't care.. So I went over to his house... And he got in the car..
He looked so tired and he goes.. "I think we should just be friends.. I dont feel the same way anymore.."
My heart stops.
I'm about to cry.
So, I stay calm. Ask him to hang out with me. IDK why I said that.. I guess it was because I just wanted to be around him...
It was awkward. I admit...
When I dropped him back off he goes.. "Maybe we should start over... yknow? Go on dates.. and just try to bring that spark back into our relationship."
I agreed and it's been 2 days and I haven't heard from him. he said he needed to really think things over... so i gave him his space.
We're supposed to go out tomorrow night but IDK if I should go. I want to so bad but I'm afraid he didn't really think everything over and his decision about us is still the same.
I love him so much and I have never felt this way.
Thanks for hearing me out whoever is reading this.. or took the time to...
Splitsterrr Splitsterrr
May 11, 2012