Why Is It So Hard?

So.. It's been a little bit over a month since I've broken up with a girl that I've been going out with for over 3 years.
We broke up due to the hardships of maintaining a long distance relationship.
I had to go far away for school but she went to a school that was near home.
She had broken the news to me while I was still at school.
So I guess since I was preoccupied with all my studies and was surrounded by my friends, I had a better time coping with the break up.
I had ceased all contact with her.  I had closed my facebook and did not reply to any of her texts.
Oh but that was after she had mentioned that she had wanted to stay as friends with me.
But apparently, I had agreed to see her at least once ater I got back home since I haven't seen her at all ever since I went to school.

Now, the semesters over and I'm home.
I thought I was strong but the scenery and all the places around me contained some sort of memory of her and I.
I spent 2 weeks at home doing nothing, just cooped up in my room wasting time and feeling depressed.
I can't sleep and although I've had some instances of meeting up with my friends, it just wasn't entertaining at all.
However, unlike my pitiful self, I have recently heard from people that she was coping with the break up just fine.
Since her school isnt over yet, she is still surrounded by friends and constantly going out to places and doing stuff.
I've heard that she had gained a lot of guy friends as well.
This is driving me nuts. I wish I had the strength to do other stuff and get on with my life, but its so hard.
I know that this is a time for me to become a better person. I know that time will heal me eventually,  I know that life goes on.  
But that's only in my head. I can't make my heart acknowledge these things.
Today is Friday and I'm supposed to meet her tomorrow.
Supposedly, according to her, this meet up is for us to talk about "us."
I've had many relationships before, but this one was different.
I guess it was my first time experiencing true love. 

What should I do?
Should I even meet her?
What should I talk about when I DO meet her?
And is there anyway to ease away the pain that I'm feeling?
It would be helpful if I could just sleep again....

anonko anonko
2 Responses May 25, 2012

I'm very sorry to hear what your going through,this is one of a few things in life that will scar you.However it's also something that you can walk away<br />
[in time} from being a much better,stronger,wiser person from the experience.The hard part is getting to that place where you feel stronger from it.This is different from person to person,for my self it would be to hard to go back to your hometown right know.To many feelings lurking around every corner just as you stated.Try small road trip somewhere you have never been to before but always wanted to check out.Another good thing to remember take some time for yourself BEFORE moving on to another relationship.Your feelings about yourself and about relationships may have changed since this experience in your life.Try some new hobbies or old ones.One I really like is treating my self to a really good meal,everyone has their own preference on treating themselves but I'm sure you get the idea.And lastly try to avoid the mutual people in your lives for a little while ,bringing them back in when YOU feel more comfortable. Chin up it will get BETTER!

I am really sorry to hear that! Break ups are actually pretty hard to deal with. Honestly it took me about a year and a half to actually ease the pain after a four year relationship. I think the best medicine is to keep your self busy and always doing something new. It actually helps. It always ok to cry every once in a while I mean they were important people in our lives. If you need someone to talk to you can add me on fb. Irisescobar13@yahoo.com