Work Crush...

So much happened, we worked together and got along real well (so I thought) Some days we would really click. I am really shy and she knew that, She would be the one that would initiate kissing me, and the way she held my arm it made me feel loved. Then one day I texted her to asked her if she wanted to go see a movie, her response "I can't I am dating someone now" This was in November. I remember because the move was immortals that came out 11/11/11. She is still with the new guy who is rumored to be a guy who works at another location of where we work. So i see her a lot, and hear other people talk about her and him, taking vacation, living together, how happy she is. She denies it is him ( but for reason not neccesay to bring up I understand her not wanting to tell people it is him) I really wanted and still want things to go some were with her.
She has already has a flirty personality, I get it its how she acts and deals with people. I tell jokes when I am nervous about how to act, she acts flirty its a go to move. It is really hard to deal with working with her and seeing the smile that someone else has given her. I can't stop thinking about her, I want so much to be with her.
I worry that the more I show my hand, being the guy that she knows wants her I will just reinfoce that I am not the guy she wants.
kinda like... She has a favorite color. (pink) The more I tell/show her that Blue would love to be here favorite color. The more she is gonna think " I like pink, pink is my favorite color, I don't want blue to be my favorite color" Even if she decides that she has too pick a favorite color she will already be so use to the thought of "not blue"
Need help, can't leave the job, no real way to seperate myself from her.
26-30, M
4 Responses Jul 16, 2012

she is a pla<x>yer. a pla<x>yer don't deserve somebody serious as you are. find another interesting creature. thinking about her will make you nuts. enjoy life and see the world. you will find it someday that she is not as interesting as you thought. if you are in the same workplace it is given but as what your story indicate you have no chance, so if you have no chance, let go and move on.:)

im not good at giving advice about this stuff all the time but id say to see how serious she is with this guy and if it becomes very serious and you think shes just being her usual flirty self not actually flirting try to find someone else. If not maybe shes flirting with you because she is unsure if she likes you and wants to see how youd react?

Yea she has kinda stopped flirting as much, because she knows how i feel and that she was miss leading me. I am curious if my theory on wanting to be with her when she is not available is re-enforcing her thought that she doesn't want to be with me.
Thank you for the comment, I hope your situation works out.

no problem and i hope it does too....

You might need to start flirting with someone néw at work

I dont mean to make things tough for you but it seems you didnt show enough interest in her<br />
You say she was always the initiator because u r shy, but even then, it seems u didnt pick up quite well and didnt express clearly ur feelings<br />
so she mustve got the idea u didnt really care<br />
i mean u texted her to go to the movies, why didnt u call her or even better, tell her id love to go and watch the movie, and id love to do this with u<br />
<br />
so now that shes busy with someone else, it seems u r only left with the lesson<br />
but mind u, it isnt a small lesson<br />
sometimes u think u found what u wanted, but later on u discover it wasnt so<br />
maybe the lesson for this is that when ur true love comes, u will now have learned how to not let go<br />
i know its easy to say the words, they r not healing words, but they could b the truth<br />
<br />
My friend, as they say, one day, someone will walk into your life and you will see why it never worked out with anyone else<br />
<br />
ur biggest problem will now b seeing her at work and always feeling guilty or a loser<br />
but u shouldnt, u r neither<br />
we all do the same, maybe it was her who lost u and not the other way round<br />
but one thing for sure, it was not the end for any of u<br />
look ahead, ur princess is waiting to be loved

Thanks for the comment, I do want to say that she new very well I was interested. Even though she made the moves she would never let are get togethers be considered a date, she would tell me we were only friends. she sent me mixed signals. there were reasons I should have walked away and reasons i kept hoping we'd progress the relationship.