Was She Disrespectful Or Insensitive?

We have been dating exclusively for over a year. We knew each other for about 4 months before going exclusive. During those four months she slept with a "friend" from her high school days over a long weekend. When we became exclusive she told me but said we're just friends and went out of her way to explain what happened was just two friends that decided to sleep together. Understand she had little contact with him since high school. This past weekend she asked if we could go to his birthday party. I was absolutely stunned and hurt. She said, we don't have to and that she would not go without me. I let her know it made me angry and that I could not understand why we should go. She said, he is just a friend and I want you to meet him. I guess she figured this way I would not feel threatened. Maybe I am insecure but this seemed disrespectful and I was angry the entire time at this party held at a bar. What makes this more troubling was that while at a concert about a month ago, she texted him. I was furious. I asked why and she said watching the band reminded her of him since he was a musician. She had been drinking and then went off to the bathroom and snapped a picture of herself and sent it to him along with another picture where I was cropped out. I am hurt. She has had no other contact since these two incidents described but I feel hurt and disrespected. I don't get it. She hides nothing from me and we have access to each other's phones so again I feel confident that she has had no ther contact and that she has not cheated. Still, I feel like I was disrespected and I am still hurt. What do others think?
confusedguy436 confusedguy436
41-45, M
3 Responses Sep 12, 2012

From a girl's perspective, I would say that there is some good and bad in this situation. She probably doesn't see it as a big deal going to his party because sleeping with him wasn't a big deal. I understand her texting him because she thought of him at the concert, would it have bothered you if it was anyone else, but the picture cropping would trouble me too. I think that was a little disrespectful, also she should take in consideration that you would have negative feelings towards him and the situation. But I feel that if you don't talk this out you might lose the relationship over distrust.

I think she loves you not him, but as she slept with him, there is probable some small attachment to him. Im sure he is just a friend. it was not right of her to take a photo of herself like that and send it to him. But if that was just a mistake one time thing, and they are only friends, there was nothign wrong with her wanting to go to his party. She did go about it the right way, with inviting u and saying if u dont go she wont either. Try to get past this, as i feel its nothing and just being over thought. If you make something out of it when its nothing, i fear u will regret it as u might course real problems of trust between the two of u.

If you truly want my opinion.... Read my featured story and feel free to ask.