I Never Knew What Love Was...

I am so heartbroken lately and I just don't know how to handle it.  I need someone to share my story with cause i feel like i have no one.  I am 19 years old and I have been dating a guy for over 4 years now and he suddenly broke up with me.  he says its cause he felt suffocated and that his mom gets mad that he doesnt spend enough time with her.  we were supposed to share an apartment next year with two other people and now he wants out of that too.  i just feel like he listens to his mom, even when she doesnt give the right advice.  she isnt exactly someone to follow...she has filed for bankruptcy several times and moved about 4 times in the past year and a half.  she wont help pay for his college, yet living in the apartment saves him close to 2 grand and he wants out cause his mom doesnt think its a good idea.  ive never had a problem with his mom before and i got along well with her.  im just so upset about losing him and i havent been able to eat, sleep, or think for the past week.  i miss him every second and i cry myself to sleep and cry several times a day.  i never realized how much i truly truly do love him.  i thought he did too.  he says he wants to be best friends and see what happens...not have me completely gone, but i try to be his friend and i feel like im not getting the chance to be one to him.  there's this girl he worked with at college and i trusted him when he said she was just a friend.  but now i am afraid that he is beginning to like her and i am almost positive she likes him.  she invited him to canada to go drink and he is all excited.  yes i want him to be happy but i am still sad.  if i ever asked him to go to canada with me when we were still dating he would have said no, cause he doesnt have the money.  but why is it so different when this girl asks him?  part of breaking up with me is cause he said he didnt like not having money to spend, which i would have understood cause we did go to small events a little often, but it was never him buying me things.  but then he is willing to wip out all this money right after breaking up with me.  last night i had dinner with his family and we went to the movies (me and him) and i had the most amazing time!  we hugged goodnight and i was so happy and for the first time in a long time i went to bed smiling.  i had a smile on my face all night and was so happy i could float away.  i feel bad calling him but its like i just dont want him to forget about me and i really want him to see the happy new me and give me a second chance.  in the past, i wasnt the greatest person, i somewhat developed a depression.  but now suddenly, i am so happy and am dressing with the clothes that i miss and doing my hair and wearing natural makeup.  he said that i looked so beautiful when he saw me last night.  but its like today on facebook i notice that that one girl left a comment saying that she loved his quotes (one of which was made by her) and he commented back saying that it reminded him of someone and put a smiley by it.  is it just me or does it seem like he is interested.  i just dont get it.  i would do absolutely anything for a second chance with him.  i never knew what love felt like till now even though i am young.  i just want him to know that things will be different and i will give him all the freedom and space in the world that he wants, but i am sure he still wants time apart.  i'm just so lovesick and heartbroken and even more hurt with this new girl...what should i do?? he doesnt completely avoid me but he just doesnt want to hang out every day which is totally fine by me.  i feel bad now suggesting doing things cause i get turned down, well he says maybe later this week cause we just saw eachother.  i am okay with that, i just dont know if he is feeling it again.  he said that at one point i had his whole heart.  i'm just so sad and have no one to talk to.
sweetpea0713 sweetpea0713
18-21, F
3 Responses May 6, 2007

Hmmm <br />
Sounds to me that he's comfused <br />
i also get the feeling that he listens to his mum a bit too much <br />
i think that he still likes you, but alos likes this girl at his colledge or he could just trying to nice this girl <br />
i still get the feeling that he likes yo though <br />
<br />
here’s what you must do: <br />
* keep busy <br />
* keep your distance for a while<br />
*go out with friends and try and forget about him for at least a day<br />
* don't sit feeling lonely and thinking about him <br />
there you go<br />
i know i'm young but i've been through it too <br />
your heart feels heavy and you forever have a lump in your throat <br />
am I right?<br />
i found that the best company you can get in times like this is the opposite sex company.<br />
because you’re a girl, get around men they will make you forget all about him for a while just keep talking to them and have a laugh and enjoy yourself.<br />
he probibly wasn't for you. <br />
the perfect man for you has proboibly always been there right in front of you all the time.<br />
<br />
listen… i know it hurts now, but things will get better <br />
i promise they will, it may hurt now but you will look back on this time and not feel anything anymore <br />
it's good for you to want him to be happy, it seems to me that he doesn't know what he wants .<br />
<br />
always remember that someone somewhere i thinking of you and you do have people around you who love you very much <br />
you'll get through this i know you will and i have never met you <br />
you will even if you have to drag yourself out of it <br />
<br />
let him go.<br />
<br />
you are loved

Been there. Don't chase him, trust me. It is the hardest thing to back off, but it is your only chance to get your sanity back after heartbreak. Also, men don't like women who are broken apart and desperate. I've had to learn that one a thousand times. So don't call him for a while. Instead, stay as busy as you can. Run, write, sing, paint, scream, get a job or two, work out, watch movies you love, paint your nails. Make a "wants" list...a list of things or experiences you want in your life. Your life continues, whether or not this relationship does. So let this be a positive experience for you in at least one way...use it to grow. Out of the fire, we are purified...is that from the Bible or where did I hear that? Anyway, it's true. Don't let yourself get bitter...use this to grow. I hope and pray you feel better soon!!! <br />
<br />
OOH! Here's an idea!!! Why not plan something huge and positive to get your mind off of it? And then continue with your plans, regardless of his decisions in the future. You could go skydiving! You could travel around the world or through a particular continent on your own! You could try to get a specific job or education! You could try out for something fun...like the circus, or to be a cheerleader for a sports team...you could learn to ice skate! There are a million things you could do to save your heart from ruin. Brush yourself off, girlfriend, and get back up. You can and will get through this, one way or another.

aw. damn, that was a heart-rendering story, just reading it makes me shed a couple of tears.<br />
Love is never easy. I was/am really in love with a girl whom I never was together with, but we were really close friends, and she said that she wouldn't get together with someone as she knew that I was in love with her and that she valued our friendship a lot. But after only 2 month she got together with someone in our school (which meant that I saw her every day with that person). I not only lost contact with the person I really deeply loved but also I lost her as my good friend. Yet today I feel depressed, and I remember every single moment I was with her.<br />
things are not easy, but I know that the best thing is to let go; one will meet someone better later on that will love one back. <br />
So try to hang out with your other friends a lot more, and at times you will start to forget about him... and hopefully in the end you will have come over him.<br />
I wish you the best of luck, and think: he is not worth you!<br />
Also, remember, even though you love him more than ever and that you really want a second chance, remember that he might not love you as much as before ('cause then he wouldn't have left you in the first place)