What Now?

What do i do now, when the real world didnt stop because mine fell apart? Everyone has given me all the advice i can just about take and the endless hushed voices, tiptoed conversations are making things worse. My love didnt die, he just stopped loving me. A loss all the same except he chose to leave me. Everyday im forced to go about my business constantly reminded of him and us together everywhere. I'm trying real hard to move on, changing everything and anything i can to disassociate these memory triggers but how do you erase 3 years? Our cellphones are on the same account, we have a joint bank account, our technology is on the same itunes account, everything we ever had we had together. I'm about 5 days into this break up and though i cry less, it doesnt mean im feeling better, i actually think everything is losing its joy for me. I cant help but think,....what was the point of it all? I'll never forget the look in his eyes when he gave me back the keys to our apartment...there was no love...we were strangers and i cried. I'll never forget the image of some young girl in my house. How do i erase these memories? It plays in a loop over and over again. I'm so dumbstruck because this isnt fair and no matter what anyone says, with all my heart i believe this was it for me i was living my dream. And everyone else has moved on and i know so should i, but i just dont know what to do. I've gone out, partied some, hung out with old friends but its only temporary relief. I still go home alone in our bed with no kiss in the morning to wake up to and no one to tell i love them b4 i sleep. And its not that i cant be alone or that i need someone. No, i just miss him, and despite everything i still want him. It's sad because i know im a good girlfriend and i deserve better, but i cant help how i feel.
Agnes8409 Agnes8409
1 Response Sep 20, 2012

so sorry i no how u feel its like that one person is the only one who can take the pain away my ex just stopped loving me as well if u need to talk im here

did u get over it?

honestly no i will never be over it