He Wants Out. :(

Not sure if my email will be read but I hope it does. I am from Singapore. I am with this French guy for 4 years. This April he proposed. Wow!! I am 24 years old and he is 28. Recently, I went to Paris and met with his parents and stayed with them. It was ok.

However, the dad told him to be careful of Asian girls as they might not be able to adapt to French culture. He decided not to tell his dad about our engagement. I was so devastated. I would do anything for this guy. With his friends, they all spoke French for hours and I was left alone. He told me he didn't feel that the Paris trip went well for us. I was so nervous when I was going to Europe for the first time and staying with his parents. In the house, I had the guest room. So my ex was basically with his friends and brother and family most of the time. I wanted to travel and see the country however spend most of the time in the room. The moment we came back to Singapore we fought. He wanted out. He says that he's unsure what he wants and he rather I be with someone who knows. Because of our culture difference and his dad not accepting me being different I think he is starting to fear that should he go back to Paris, his parents will not accept. I love him so much. I miss him but I didn't show it to him. Spend the whole weekend home crying and my heart is so painful.

He has his good point. Takes care of me when I needed him. I can't lose him. We didn't contact for 2 weeks almost 3 now. I asked him recently if we could talk. He agreed this weekend but I'm not sure what to say. I'm scared I'm going to break down when I see him. I am trying but I'm unsure. Thanks :(
Cryallday Cryallday
2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

You need to tell him that you are hurt but, if he feels the way he feels, there is nothing that you can do about it. Tell him that you wish him the best. If you don't contact him (even if it is for months) and he truly cares for you, he will ask you to come back to him. But, you cannot do this eagerly. You have to do it in a way that let's him know that you love and appreciate him but that you are taking everything slowly. Men don't always understand what it is that they want but give them time alone and they usually figure it out. If not, the road to getting over him will be tough, but it will happen. French people (in this case his family) are not always open to accepting others and their culture.

I just did what your boyfriend did to you, to my boyfriend. Im 23 and he's 30, Im American and he's Jamaican. We were in love i think why did I throw it away? I said the same thing to my boyfriend, I really do not know what I want. But now I think maybe thats part of relationships finding out what each wants by working together. "How do u look at the guy u love n tell urself it's time to walk away?" I feel like my decision was wrong, I just tell myself he'll find his woman where I lacked.