Dreaming With A Broken Heart

Then waking up is the hardest part...John Mayer could not have said it better. My dreams are even realistic. I see his face we talk about our situation, sometimes we fight, other nights we make up, either way i'm with him only in my dreams. Waking up is the nightmare of reality. The reality of a love lost. We werent kids, we were moving forward in our lives together, living together and all the perks it carries. How can you just not love me anymore. The girl who gave you the world, i gave our relationship everything i had for you to just throw it all away. Ive given you 2nd and 3rd chances...Where is mine? How can i even try to save us if you've given up. All i ever wanted was you..all i still want. I dont know if i can ever forgive you for what you've done to me, for making me feel like we were nothing but a cute memory. But i cant help but love you, love you through the hurt and the tears how i wish i could hate you. What's it going to take to cure this broken heart? Feels lik a lifetime ago since you held me but i can still smell you on our pillow. All i do is think about you and think about us. What happened what went wrong, was there anything i couldve done to fix it? Why didnt you tell me when you were upset? Was i that bad? You shut me out and now you dont love me....I know in my heart your never going to love me again are you? I'm going to be stuck missing you while you eventually love someone else. These stories are all thats keeping me from texting you, because i get this build up of emotion and in these moments i find myself rationalizing reasons to contact you, to hear your voice or see a message from you. A part of me feels like we're still together and maybe you just took a vacation this past week. Silly i know, but just because you stopped loving me doesnt mean i stopped.
Agnes8409 Agnes8409
2 Responses Sep 24, 2012

Wow, I can relate to this. When the person you love so much stops loving you, it's the worst pain in the world. You start to think from the beginning to the end, analyzing every aspect and wondering what went wrong, how did everything make a turn like this. I always end up thinking that it's my fault. That I did something wrong. Maybe you felt the same way too. I gave my boyfriend many chances when he did wrong only because I love him, I want to be with him. But, he won't give me a chance because.. he simply doesn't love me. Haha, it's like a joke to him.

I think its my fault too but in reality it takes 2 people to make a relationship work and when your the one whos always doing it its not worth it (despite how we feel) Even though my logic always makes sense your heart says different. I know its crazy how you can give them chances yet when its your turn they've decided they had enough...makes no sense

Omg I love this!! Exactly what it feels like to me, started crying when I read this, thank you for writing.

Thank you for reading, means a lot to me. I'm sorry you feel this way, the pain is unbelievable