How Can You Just Wake Up One Morning And Decide You Don't Love Someone Anymore?

We dated for 4 years, no words can even begin to describe this man. My dream man, the love of my life, he was absolutely perfect. I drove him away with my jealousy, my rage, my own insecurities, he did nothing wrong I was just to attached. One day he decided that he had enough. With the hundreds of other fights we had previously had I knew he'd call me the next day and we would make up. He hasn't spoken a word to me in 9 months. I try to date but I find myself always comparing men to him and they never meet my exceptions. I would give anything to change my ways, my actions, my life just to see him again. I feel like this heart ache will never go away. I wake up and the pain is the first thing I feel. I go to sleep and the pain is the last thing I feel. I lost the only normal thing I had in my life. I lost a one in a million shot that some will go their whole life and never get to experience.How long does it take to get over a love like this?
wb11 wb11
5 Responses Sep 24, 2012

I am married now, still not over that love I had with my ex. Moving on can be so rough... We only have one life though, so I guess try to make the best of it right?....

You may never get over him. I never got over my first love, but I am grateful for the memories that he gave me. I could never convince him to come back to me, because he couldn't deal with someone with so many mental issues. God knows what he is doing, and as hard as it is to accept people don't stay in our lives for a reason. Hopefully someday I'll understand why.

true. you are very very young. things take time. just remember that. Four years is an extremely long time, so it's gonna take you a long time to get over this. and that's OKAY! idk if you're a God-lover or not, but seriously pray that God helps you through your days and trust me, it always helps. I just went through a breakup; and my parents, friends, and teammates make me feel better. Surround yourself with people who love you no matter what. You'll find yourself everyday thinking of him less and less, then in due time you WILL be over him. You may always think about him, but there's going to be a point that you can think about him and not be sad. That's the goal.
sorry girl 3

<p>WB I cant help noticing your age which is very young. If you have been attached to him for 4 years much of your behavior could be due to your immaturity. As you age you will mature and being aware of what went wrong in your relationship should help you avoid making those same mistakes again. I would suggest that in life we all make mistakes and will continue to even as we age. If you have not spoken in 9 months perhaps you would just feel better to try to clear the air? Buy a nice card and write in it what you feel and ask if trhe two of you might try to be friends. Tell him of your sorrow and admit your immaturity during the time you were together and ask him if it might be possible to see each other. If hr still has feelings for you it might work out. BUT only do this if you are sincere and willing to be the person you wish you had been. If he says no, accept that he wants to move on and let go... Good luck and God bless.</P>

I have got to tell you a story and it is one that is true and mine. You are not alone in what you are feeling and understanding but know this, you have answered your own question. You are right. Mr. Right he may have been, but you had him for 4 years and that is 4 more that most will every have with life being what it is. You are the lucky one. You are the one that can take that experience and live with it as a great memory and not just a wish or something that you never could or would have. YOU DID HAVE THOSE 4 YEARS!!! No one or thing can take that away. So please be easy on yourself. You will surely have memories and keep all the good ones and throw out the bad. Be blessed knowing that he too is remembering and knowing a loss. It is impossible for him not to. Go be the best person you can and do things for yourself and know that Mr. Right has a bother outthere somewhere looking for you too. Take your mistakes and work on them. Take your issues that you believe may have caused problems and mark them as non users. Also remember this- It takes two people to have a problem and no person on this earth is perfect, not even Mr. Right. I know , I am Mr. Wrong, or atleast so she said. Today is a new day just as yesterday is gone. I do not know if you know any SEAL Team guys but let me tell you that over the main building at UDT Training it says a simple but true statement. The only easy day was yesterday! That is because it is over. You will need to work at your life for the rest of your life. Don't worry, it will not let you down and you should not let yourself down. I believe