Letter From My Dying Best Friend Saying Goodbye...My best friend Matt suffered from heart failure, he needed a emergency heart transplant, but passed away 4 weeks later from 'acute rejection'... this is the letter he wrote me before he died saying goodbye..
i know you hate goodbyes, so i'm kinda glad your not with me in the hospital because this is my goodbye letter, just in case i don't make the operation, but no negative thoughts right? i have to tell you that when you came to Luton for the summer, i didn't want to get close to you, not to get attached because it would be more painful for me to say goodbye. but i failed, its too hard not to see you :) We watched each other grow from the age of 7, we saw the days pass together, you never left my side, even when my heart condition got bad, i admit we have had our problems, our fights but they only ever last about 2 minutes:) the only ever argument we have ever had was when you stayed at my house for a week and you didn't cook me breakfast and i got upset:( i mean it doesn't kill someone to chuck some bacon in the oven does it ;) but thank you for all the times when i have been upset like when my Nan died and your response was to bring two tubs of ice cream and hot chocolate and you stayed with me all the time i was upset, which always made me feel better:) you know there are so many memories that can't even fit into a book, so many laughs, cries, smiles that are all engraved into my heart (p.s don't worry, even though i'm getting a new heart does not mean the memories will be lost) they will last forever :) you have always found the best in me and simply for that i feel blessed, not blessed for having you, but blessed for knowing you will be by my side.
you know iv'e come to terms with the fact that i will never see you again:( i know it will be incredibly more painful for me than it will be for you, but when i am gone, take a deep breath princess and start a new day smiling knowing i am watching over you. i know things will get extremely painful and strange at first but promise me one thing? that you miss Clark will never change who you are, you are simply the most remarkable, beautiful person i know, but i do need to tell you something though because i think you deserve to know , i like you so much more than friends, i honestly fell for you the second i met you. but i know that we could never be together because i was dying and it wasn't fair on you :( but thank you for making everyday with you fantastic, i knew that your smile would get me through the rainy days that made your hair curly, but i didn't care, you looked beautiful either way:) i still remember November 2nd when you came to the hospital and dragged me out of bed and brought me a McDonald's because you refused to let me eat hospital food, and you took me to the place we first met on October 23rd and we sat for hours talking about college and i promised you that i will walk you on your first day of college because i know you will be scared:) i'm still going to do that even though i'm not here...
Amy, i don't want you to go through life feeling like nothing, because to me? you're my everything, don't let them ******* bring you down, because you're honestly amazing for everything you do!! don't let anyone tell you different:) i just want you to know that i'm not giving up in life, i do passionately want to survive to see you again, you're the reason i'm not giving up, You know what ? when the doctor's told me i only had a 10% chance of surviving this operation, it made me realize.. you're that 10% of hope, because you make me feel alive :) You know i love you so much as a best friend and even more, go and enjoy your life Amy, fall in love, have a family, be married and go be a amazing diver in the Olympics, only one more year until trails, i am so proud of you Amy for everything you have achieved so far, just remember i will be watching over you every step of the way, even though you're beautiful, independent and strong enough to go through life without me there:)
anyway clarkie;) i'm going, i love you and will always remember you , go and make something amazing with your life, also if your ever hit a tough stage in your life, just bring a tub of ice cream and come sit by my grave and cry your little heart out, i will always be listening, i know that sounds weird but if your upset i want you to talk to someone about it , (A.K.A) me!! , goodbye my beautiful best friend, thank you for the most amazing 9 years i could ever ask for!! love Matt aka number 1 bestfriend xxxxx