How Do You Stop Feeling Empty? I Need Help.

Hi, I met this 21 year old guy from church 2 years ago. He was charming, sweet, young and carefree. I am a 24 year-old, conservative girl from a small town in TN. I recently moved to NYC to live with my sister. He was still in school and I'm already working. He studies in PA. We began dating and I fell in love with him. He seems to be caught in the spell too. Whenever he's home from school, we were inseparable! I, of course would be the one buying the stuff we need and he would provide the entertainment. He would give me gifts from his childhood. It was magical.

Then after couple of months, I find out he cheated on me. Slept with another girl while in school. He asked for forgiveness and I gave it to him wholeheartedly. But I was paranoid after that. We kept having the same arguments about how many girls in his facebook and other networks where he flirts. He assured me that I was the one. Introduced me to his parents and his friends. He was my best friend. I have only numbered friends cause of my work schedule. 

Then this August, 2012 after accompanying him to his school, it started all over again. The flirting, the not coming home and visiting me. We broke up. I havent heard from him for 2 months until today when I decided to be friends with him. I noticed he was partying a lot, drinking a lot and having a normal college guy experience. He texted me and said, "I'm over you and want nothing to do with you". I feel empty and hallow. I know I do not deserve him but I feel sad like the world is empty. I have cried for the last 2 months but now what I feel is more than pain. It's emptiness. Help. I need some advice.
emptyheart1990 emptyheart1990
3 Responses Nov 28, 2012

I know exactly how this feels. My boyfriend dumped me out of the blue and two weeks later was with another girl. When she broke his heart, he came crying to me...I forgave him willingly and accepted him back into my life. He told me that he needed me more than ever and wanted to make it work. But once he found yet another girl he liked better, he left me and told me to leave him alone. He hasn't talked to me since. I completely understand your pain and can promise you, with time it does get better. Fill your life with the people that care about you as much as you do about them. Take up a hobby or learn something new. Plan and save up for a trip. Give yourself a fresh perspective on life and you will be able to move forward. Just be patient and take baby steps, and be proud of who you are and what you are becoming.

My heart goes out to you too. Do you still bump into him? It's hard cause most of my friends are his long time friends... And we do go to the same church and live in the same city... But yea, anything is possible when you really want to move on! Thank you for sharing your story!

Okay, I saw someone question you as to whether or not the man in your other story was the same man from this story so I of course had to look up this story. Now I understand so much more! I can relate. I did not meet my ex in church but we attended every Sunday and it made me feel so unbelievably close to him! I really thought that the Lord put him into my life! I kept thanking the Lord and crying because after such a long time of waiting he had sent the man of my dreams to me! (yawn, right?) You forgave his cheating, I would have also! When you think that you have the man of your dreams then you of course forgive! Of course you will be left paranoid and frantic afterwards. You did all of the things that we do when we truly love a man and feel in our hearts that "he is the one." These men took advantage of our kindness and then showed their true colors. I wish that I could get a group of women like ourselves for a coffee support group where we bash men and then try to find good ones in the cafe:) I wish you every happiness, you do not deserve the unhappiness that this dishonourable excuse for a man has caused you.

Thank you! How did you recover though?

This sounds like one sided love story the way its written. If he was your twinflame, he wouldnt have cheated. 2) It seems like your okay with him cheating on you; you should not be too haste in forgiving that. 3) He doesnt deserve you. I wish things would be magical and turn out like a fairy tale for you; but I know this guy. You dare cry for a guy like this? I understand your wrapped up in him... But come on, That type of guy you dont need.

Of course it is one sided. I don't know how he felt. We never really talked in person. We ended it through text. He never explained anything so everything is from my perspective. It's hard to get rejected when you give everything to that relationship. It's hard knowing you are never gonna be good enough for them.

Thanks for the thought tho. I know I have to move on now. It's just hard.