Some Best Friend...

When a girl and guy know each other for a long time.. most of the time, they will develop feelings for each other. Or maybe only one of them will. That was me.. The girl that wanted to risk the whole friendship for the chance of a relationship. Silly mistake.. at least for me.
As a senior in high school, and with all my friends being in relationship, or at least having someone else-- I was getting lonely.
I knew that I had feelings for my friend. But I doubted that he had feelings for me. Afterall, we had have known each other for years and he never said anything. Also he said that he considered me as his sister. That was my biggest turn off from going in and actually telling him.
That night when I was texting him, I told him that I had something very important to tell him, but that it might also ruin our friendship. Harshly and frankly he told me, that if the results were going to be negative, then I should just not mention it. BUT I knew that I had to, it was killing me inside. I was moving on with my own life, college coming for the next fall. And honestly, I was falling out of love with him, yes it WAS love.
I waited until the late hours of the night to text him my feelings.. I could never, ever in a million years tell him this in person or even over a phone call. In that sad multiple texts, I told him about my feelings, my doubts, and I also mentioned... that I no longer wish to be friends. I realized that I infact did ruin everything, willingly.. knowing what would happen. In the morning, there were no responds from him, none.. not even one. Not to mention, there were no texts from anyone else.
That was a very lonely time in my life. But after I said what I had to say, I felt-- liberated and free. I survived my first heart break, and half way, I liked the feeling. The other half of myself wanted to hate myself forever.
It has been a couple of months since my confession to him. Things never really have been the same.
Sometimes, you have to take big risks to get big rewards... kind of like buying a junk bond :)
Chinnian Chinnian
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 30, 2012

For me usually I can see people as either or. Even going in. If I like someone I tell them immediately but the truth is that these days women think if you can see them as something more you'll press it and act like you can stubbornly kick the door in because intuitiion in most guys is that if you work at it long enough you'll create tension or if you argue with her enough you'll succeed. Take it from a lot of experience on my part but if you want a girl who turns you down to like you STOP trying. STOP. Let it go, work on yourself. Develop your own character and become a better man. PERIOD. I learned that the hard way. I'm sorry you had to go through what you did =(

It's okay, we all have to go through it sometime right? Thanks for the advice :]

it works the same for women. The starving dog NEVER gets fed >