Lost In Life...

i cheated on my wife back in 1999, we split up and for 3 years i was gutted,trying to get her back. any way in 2002 i met this women who started work in a local shop as a manager, i asked her out and she accepted, i was over the moon !
this women was everything i ever wanted in a women, really pretty, honest, trust worthy. we liked same music etc, i was told that she was a drinker 'ok i thought and started a relationship with her.
after maybe 3 years we were always together so we decided to try to make a go of it and i gave up my flat end moved in with her. everything was fine for 6 months until her daughter moved back in. this 15 year old girl was completely horrible to me and made me feel so unwelcome, after maybe another 18 months i moved out.
we split up after she attacked me when she was drunk the night before my daughters wedding
( i had scratches all over my face on all the wedding pics ) we were apart for 15 months and then we got back together, she was still a heavy drinker ( i used to join her to ) as time has moved on,we were on and off, she would get drunk and be really agressive, arguemantitive and unreasonable.
we split in 2009 for 9 months.at this time i was told that she had been sleeping with my best freind by his sister. this completely sent me ove the edge as the man in question had died a couple of years before, i had to finsh work and nearly had a nervous breakdown, i was missing her really bad but surely and very slowly i was finding my feet on my own.
then out of the blue she txt me on random night saying 'i still love you'
what did i do ?
'i still love you'
we got back together last year, i couldnt beleive my luck, she had completely changed.she was kind, beautiful, evrything i wanted or dreamed about. then the same old problems came back.
i was always paronoid aout what she was doing and she and i started heavy drinking again, the relationship was on the rocks so i said lets go on holiday and just chill take sometime out. we went for a 'city' break and we choose amsterdam. we ended up falling out on holiday. we travelled completely seperate home,and that was the last time we spoke.
that was in march this year..
now i am in a place that is not good, she has left me drinking every night, broken hearted and on the verge of doing something stupid, i have really good family and freinds but nobody knows how im really feeling, she i still working in the village and i keep seeing her, this i is killing me, she has a new boyfreind now and im left alone gutted and lonely, i dont know were to turn or what to do do.......... lost in life :-/
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2 Responses Dec 2, 2012

So sad

So how can someone so beautiful and perfect, sleep with your best friend or scratch your face? I don't understand... In a relationship, quarrels happen but not as your case.. You said she changed but still the same? You cheated with your wife and you wanted to get her back.. After 3 years, you found someone new, moved in, moved out.. Dear Sir, i don't think you know a good woman, nor do you cherish her.. I'm really sorry if i offended u with these words, just my opinion..

Thank you for the reply.. Experiences make us stronger.. Tho we can't change the past, we can do the best for the future..
Good luck :)