The Tossing Of One's Cookies

I almost feel as though I can do it, or can I? Yes, I am unsure but perhaps I should force myself? There is going to be some sort of speeddating function not too far from my home..the day after tomorrow actually. Why would I do this when I am still ready to toss my cookies when I think about dating?My heart still breaks each time I think about him and when I leave my apartment (he lives and works in our building) I always wonder if I may bump into him.
How pathetic am I to still be in love with a man who has made it clear to me that he has never loved me?
heartprotection heartprotection
41-45, F
1 Response Dec 3, 2012

I visited the location where the speed dating function was being held, just to check it out actually. It was a $30. cover, $30. that I do not have of course. It looked like a bunch of men and women sitting in a bar area waiting to go into a backroom. I decided to enter and ask if they had a takeout menu that I might be able to take with me. I realize now that I do not need to spend $30 like that, I can find a man elsewhere...I think...

Last Friday night there was another dating function where each female is given a lock and each male is given a key to try each woman's lock to see if they "fit." I did get dressed for the event and did walk to the entrance but did not enter. Who am I kidding? I am too shy and since I lighten my hair people think that I am some sort of cool and hip woman when really I am just a shy girl with bleached hair. I decided to celebrate life so I walked to the liquor store in my thigh high black leather boots and purchased a bottle of sparkling wine. At least if my ex saw me he can think that I am "getting a life." Little does everyone know that Angus (my cat/husband) and I spent a cuddly evening together. :)