Misleading Older Men

I met this man on a spiritual dating website. He is 45 and I am 34. We live on the same coast but a few states away.

I am a very different person... vegan, very different spiritual and religious views, I practice energy work, do yoga, want to move to Costa Rica, etc.... I usually can not find anything in common with a man but this particular man we had a ton in common.

We ended up speaking very regularly for a month. Even skyping almost daily. In that month he told me that he was falling in love with me, that he wanted to have children with me, for me to move to where he lives and live with him, invited me on a couple trips with him, etc. We were supposed to meet this week. I initially had a work trip near where he lives and then I was going to drive another hour or two to see one of my best friends. We initially were just going to meet for dinner but as time went on we decided for me to skip my work, me stay with him a few days instead and then he invited himself to go with me to visit my friend. Which was fine with me. But last week... We spur of the moment decided for him to go ahead and come visit me. When he got off the plane and saw me he was physically shaking, obviously very nervous. I was the same. I found it indearing? We spent two days together and had the most passionate love. We also relaxed, enjoyed each others company, laughed. He told me that I was stunningly beautiful, that he adored me, that he loved that he could relax and be himself around me, etc...

But once I dropped him off at the airport the random texts of xoxoxo's stopped, he didn't make the effort to speak or skype with me as much as usual, etc. Then he TEXTED that he could no longer go with me to visit my friend. This coming after him communicating with me less and less made me wonder if he wanted me to visit at all. He said that he did want me to visit but things were going to fast and needed to slow down. But he was the one to initiate things move as quickly as they did. And of course I very willingly allowed it. All of this made me feel like he used me for sex. I do not feel right about going to visit him anymore. And for a day I was so upset that I deleted him from my skype and blocked him from my phone and email but then later decided that that was too harsh and that maybe we could atleast be friends and that I could learn something from him to prepare myself to meet the one. I am still flying into his airport but then renting a car to visit my friend a few hours away from there. I would normally be so excited about my upcoming trip. But I have been crying for two days, I was not able to work today for crying, I feel so foolish and taken advantage of. I feel used.

I have gone through another similar experience like this with an older man that I met offline. This time it hurts worse because this particular man and I had so much in common and I felt trusting of him. Any insight and advice would be appreciated.
shatteredheart2 shatteredheart2
Dec 4, 2012