Driving Me Crazy

Ever since we broke up (A bit over a month ago) it's felt like she has been hiding something from me. A few days after we broke up I read some text messages on her phone. Some of the things I read didn't line up with things she had told me. This made me feel more like she was hiding things.

A couple weeks later I asked her about a couple things and the answers I received seemed to be leaving stuff out. I'm not sure if I would have felt that way if I hadn't found anything the first time I looked, but either way I again felt like she was hiding something. I knew I shouldn't be reading her text messages, but it was driving me crazy wondering what the full truth was. So again I read some of her text messages. And again, I found out more information that she was willing to tell me herself.

A couple days ago I caught a glimpse of a text message she received. Earlier today I asked her a question that was relevant to the text I saw. Her answer really didn't seem to line up with the part I saw, but maybe I just didn't know all of it and she was telling the truth. I had to know.

I haven't been sleeping well lately, so tonight I woke up around 3, she was asleep in her room. So I snuck in and read the text messages (You're probably thinking, "why doesn't this girl change her password?", well, she did, but it wasn't hard to see her type it in...). And of course I found that she had straight out lied to me earlier.

The main reasons she still lives here is because I don't have any other friends in my region and she can't afford her own place. I need a friend, and she says she wants to be there for me because she knows no one else is. But I can't talk to her without feeling like she is lying to my face.

I can't get closure if I feel like there is more to the story. And every time I've gone looking for those missing bits, I've found them.

I know I shouldn't be going through her private conversations, but it drives me insane wondering. I can't sleep at night. I have nobody to talk to about what's going on, because my one "friend" lies to me. My performance at work has dropped dramatically due to inability to concentrate (from wondering what else she could possibly be hiding) and lack of sleep.

My co-workers and boss are trying to get me more involved in the community. But I'm not ready for that yet, I still just need someone to talk to. I need some comfort. I need to be set free.
Rodel30 Rodel30
18-21, M
1 Response Dec 5, 2012

Did you talk to her directly over this? There's only one way to find out, you know.

Yes. She says I'm just being paranoid and that she isn't hiding anything. And that I'm crazy.

I don't blame you got going through her messages. & if you feel like she's lying, she probly is. Talk to her face to face and
Say 'are you lying to me?' And if she says no say 'then show me the messages.' & if there's nothing to hide then you shouldn't have a problem with it. & if she doesn't show you. She is probly hiding something.

I second that.