Heart Broken

So the Guy I had been talking to for 2 months just sorta ending every thing I don't even know.. he asked me to say after school on Wednesday so we did(: we love hanging out. We don't have any classes with each other so every school function or after school club there is we join. Together (: And okay let me take you back. I'm in this awkward love triangle with him and our best friend. They knew each other first for about a year then I met her then I met him at her party after I had already developed such a close friendship with her. Sorry I'm bad with words hope you're following along.. anyways I already knew she was crushing on him and had been for a while. So she then introduces me to him at her party. Yeahhh that's when I started falling. And I've been falling ever since. Well up until Wednesday when I hit rock bottom and it hurts like hell. Well anyways we all 3 started gaming out it was obvious we both like each other and I had told me friend ( the one that likes him) that we were talking.. she became upset and it was all horrible but we both ended up okay. She even told him she liked him but he wad just like um lets just be friends. She was fine with it.. and so me and him secretly confessed how me felt for each other behind her back. I told him there's no way we could tell her. Because she still liked him. How could I do this to her? He understood and felt the same way.. after we both confessed thar we liked each other we never really did anything about it.. we never really mentioned it again because we knew it would ruin all our friendships. We all continued to hang out. Me and him flirting like crazy tho. (I talk about this more in my previous stories go read them to understand better) ANYWAY back to wat I was saying.... so Wednesday we stayed after school and every thing was perfect. We talked out random things. We laughed. Were touching each other ( no not that kind of way)) but we just really had a great time. I had to leave so he hugged me good bye(: I get home and he texts me with one if our insiders (: Ah. We laugh and flirt some more. Sounds like a great day right? Then I say something like oh idk how you feel about me sometimes .... he says " I do like you though " I say " that's exactly what I needed to here. Because I
Always second guessing myself with you.." I guess I am because he hasn't asked me out or anything .. and si he says "remember I wont date you because of Sarah " (our friend) and si that's when my heart drops.. I cry. Seriously what was I thinking? Did I seriously think I could cone in on their friendship and change his mind about her? About them.. I knew this from the start. Why did I put myself through this? I thought I was the one who cared the most about me and her friendship. Obviously not. :( So then I say.. " so then what are we doing? You think we should put what ever feelings we feel for each other behind us and continue being friends.. yes?" It killdeer me to send that but I do. And I scared of the truth. I'm haunted by the small innocent word that he replied with. He says " yep" my heart shattered. WHAT? ! again this was all through texting. I glad he couldn't see my tears. I don't understand. 2 months that went on way to long. I don't know why he. OMG. :( he just wants to forget everything. Wen we just had a great day.. oh what a bittersweet day it was. He obviously chose her over me. Over all we did. All we felt. I don't get it. So I replied okay, goodnight :) I was so angry. So sad. I don't know what to do know. I say him at school on Thursday. Where I always see him in the hall. We smiled said hi like we usually do. And I always go by his 2 nd period.. when I don't he always ask why.. I think I need to stop going by.. I should stop every thing before I get more hurt right? We haven't texted since. I wish he would.. I wishes he would take back that " yep" I wish I didn't like him so much.. I need your advice. Please <3
Hope152 Hope152
18-21, F
Dec 8, 2012