Receiving Closure To Move On

Today was an emotionally exhausting day.Earlier in the week my exbf asked me some questions about my dating since our break up and I disclosed the truth to him without details. I didn't know it was going to make me feel so badly as it did later. Partly is our communication since we live so far apart a lot of our communications are on chat and you cannot hear the meaning or tone of voice in messages. So I had been feeling saddened and today we had planned on talking and watching some kind of show together like we've done in the past. I felt blue this time because I was still trying to decide if I was going to completely cutoff communication with him or just communicate a lot less. It felt weird not letting him know I was going through this because we've always shared so much with each other even after our breakup. He kept asking to see me on Skype so I eventually gave in and figured it would be good for me to face my fears with seeing and hearing his voice again.So just being himself he cheered me up with his silliness and when we talked I told him that it had been tough for me to move on and start dating eventhough I am. He genuinly got it...I heard it in his voice like an actual realization and he apoligized for coming off so insensitively earlier in the week. It really got through to me the amount he cares about me and wants me to move on and that we'll always be friends. It struck such a chord in me after this exchange that it really made me feel able to let go of the past realizing that I didn't have to move on without him. He illustrated the very reason why I feel he should remain in my life.He thought outside of himself and really heard me.He demonstrated that he really could be a true friend! What a breakthrough! Moving on now really is on my horizon. I'm so thankful for this happening finally like sun breaking through a big snow bank....I can feel a release in my life from the past, hurray!
Owleeeeease7 Owleeeeease7
36-40, F
3 Responses Dec 9, 2012

I wish I had your strength. Perhaps timing for me is not good to keep the friendship as it still cuts me. I want to cut him off but I can't . I think he'll do it. Or maybe surprised when I avoid him. I just can't seem to not answer his call at all. Because I can't not have him leave completely life. I guess time will tell. I just need more time 1 year not enough.

I think every situation is different...why you broke up and how makes a bid difference and if you still want to get back together I would break away from him completely......it's the only way for him to miss what he lost and possibly come back...I decided that we weren't compatible enough to fight for and he's not the kind of mate that I think will give me long time happiness. We had great memories though that have been hard to move past but I'm seeing that it will happen little by little.

Closure and resolution in a heart-wrenching breakup is the grace we all desire. You and your exbf have the grace and clarity to give love to each other even in the saddest moments.
Moving on is not easy, but it is necessary and inevitable. You both have been given the opportunity to do so without bitterness. That's wonderful.

Yes I think so too.....I wasn't sure if it was a good move to continue being friends but now after seeing how he has the sensitivity to help us both move on I realize theres no reason not to be. I still do admire and appreciate him even through the distance and breakup.

:-)

he seems like a great guy. I feel sad for him that he seems like such a great guy and got his heart broken. I feel sad for you that you are having such a hard time moving on. I hope you find happiness again someday. :(

yeah.....he is a great guy.:-)