In Hopes Of Someday Breaking The Pattern

All my life the pivitol men in my life seem to dissappoint me, abandon me and hurt me.......everytime I've managed to find the strength to pick myself back up, dust myself off and find hope for the next relationship. The hope that someday I will find a man who loves me and will always be there for me. Always doing his best and we will be there for one another. I truly believe I deserve this. I want so much to break this awfully dissappointing heartbreak that keeps playing itself over and over. Sometimes I forget that it's not my fault that men haven't been reliable in my life. I have learned that through it all the ones talk the most break my heart the deepest.Talk is cheap, those whose actions speak louder than words earn my respect. I wish I could meet someone who I could put my walls down for but I will always remember to defend myself no matter how much I think I love him.....tomorrow is destined to come. What will it bring?
Owleeeeease7 Owleeeeease7
36-40, F
5 Responses Dec 13, 2012

We struggle too. We disappoint ourselves as much as we disappoint you. We want to be the strong, silent type. We want to be the White Knight. We are not as confident as we should be.
But we love you...and we want to be there to protect you.
Talk IS cheap, but we don't always know what we're supposed to be's not so clear anymore.

Thanks I appreciate the sentiment......I know my friend is at a loss for words and he'd probably agree with's funny but I could hear him thinking the same types of things in defense of others. I know sometimes us women have high expectations but I think he put a lot more pressure of himself than I was. I didn't expect him to support me and always say the right thing but I didn't expect that he'd walk out the way he has. Just wanted him to be as reliable as he wanted me to be with him and he just didn't feel secure enough in his life I suppose.

Just a stupid thought...but I think that Gloria Estefan said it well: Words Get In the Way. We talk too much, we think too much. No one just FEELS anymore. We're all human and we all try our best. If we could just remember that, we would do so much better.

big hugs for you! ive been through the same thing and still going through it.i hate that we have to feal this way! im in love with a man whose friends and family dont think im good enough for him.everytime something would happen or we would fight he would go run his mouth to them,needless to say im the bad guy(girl).i too have build a huge wall,only to protect my heart.but it would feel nice to have someone nuturing and safe enough to let it down.ohhh what do we do?keep your head up and dont give up on love;)

That is a good thing to do.......I felt like that for a while with my ex's family that he must've told them unfavorable things to them. Why are the men in our lives such big babies.....mine just had to ask his sister of all people if we should break up or not....why does his family think they should advise him on big people clue that maybe his family is a little more important than they should be...also a sign that he's not confident enough to make his own decisions about things...anoother bad sign...better that I didn't marry him, now looking back!

Your fears are well founded. With 50% of marriages ending in divorce and many more marriages that are shams of one sort or another. As you know; many, many more relationships dissolve long before it gets to the marriage stage, but then there are those that are that brass ring that everyone wants. I have two sons and they both seem to be in those wonderful relationships. My oldest for over 20 years. My parents had one of those for over 60 years. It took my Grandmother three times, but she finally got it right in her 60's. FEAR Some say it is False Evidence Appearing Real. In this case it certainly can be. You are a wonderful person who is searching for another wonderful person. They are out there and probably as frustrated as you because of the number of times they have been hurt because of lies and deceit. Think of men like dogs though. If you go rushing up to a stray dog they often will either run away, or bite. Just take it slow and show them that you are their friend and you can end up with a friend for life. If you see where it is not going where you want it to, back away. Advice from an old dog. :)

Wise advice.....So glad we're friends......Thanks.......been feeling down lately but I know after I've healed I will be be stronger and able to find new hope...just not now...until then I will head your wise words....Thanks!

I wish you the best in your life. I hope you find that happiness!! Remeber there are people who have everything but still give a **** about humans and those things called emotions :))

First you have to OPEN YOUR EYES. Then start looking. I am a Alien i am much like man. Greedy, selfish and all about mememe. But you have the greatest gift. To give love in return. Not everyone is born pretty or smart. Take what you have and give life all you have to give. For you ONLY have one life. Trust me loving but once is better than not at all...

Awwww... My best to you Hon. Hang in there, don't give up!!

Thanks I guess I'm just feeling hopeless after looking back over the years of believing I was with someone who really loved me instead of breaking my heart. I thought I'd have found someone who was reliable by the time I was fourty. Dissappointment is hard to stomache, it's so upsetting....I appreciate your comment not to give up though I feel I am on the brink of loosing hope in mankind to bring me a true love...I'm almost believing it doesn't exist.

I, too have wondered if true love exists, and yet I refuse to give up the hope.

But just incase our thoughts become our reality, we had better not " close off " the idea that wonderful men exist methinks. I'll never stop believing that " true love" exists for me.
AND for YOU!