Post

Heartbroken

I don't know how to deal with this. I fell in love with a guy a year ago, and he promised me everything...you know how that goes...we were against my family. They did not approve, but we decided we would fight it. We saw each other, we talked every day, and we counted down the days when I'd be able to be with him without all these complications. We made it work over long distance, and I wa head over heels. I gave him my entirety. Then, he told me he was deperessed. It didn't feel right anymore. He questioned everything. This was a couple of months before we would have made the countdown...since then, he's been with other girls and going out, but gets furious when I even hint at moving on...he knows I'm sensitive, so he says things to me that I eat at me...like he kissed a girl, I'm to blame for him acting this way, that I'm the one that's giving us up when I tell him I can't handle this. I'm trapped, and I want to believe that he's only going through a stage...but at the same time, things he's done to me in this time are heart wrenching...Ive gotten to a point where I want to die even, Im so depressed... then he told me to enjoy hell. He makes me feel so worthless....i feel so empty...how am I suppose to get away from him? How am I suppose to love him and be patient? I just can't stay like this. I'm afraid I won't be able to forget about him, and I think he already has...I can't imagine finding anyone that won't end up leaving.
Kkl3v Kkl3v 18-21, F 16 Responses Dec 17, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

Just push him out of your life. He's moved on, but keeping you from moving on is just stroking his ego. Sticking around is not healthy for you at all.

I stuck around since then anyway...at this moment, I am just waiting for the day he'll break my heart again...even though he says he's staying.

These kinds of situations arise in relationships, specially one like yours. This is a typical situation - in the beginning everything feels good and right, and as time passes by the flare keeps subsiding slowly and slowly as people tend to get predictable. Some men don't like it when their women get predictable, same goes for women, but in your case you love this guy truly. He is not in his senses and thinks of himself like a bee hive, which the bees (women) can't resist. This is an amazing situation because only your love for him made him think this way. Bear with me, you have to be patient now more than ever if you want him to come to his senses. Keep your conversations limited, spend less time with him and more at home, indulge in activities that divert your mind away from him. Just give it a couple of weeks and you will know the difference.

You have to want and expect better than that, it's hard but if you drop contact and don't respond so that means phone number email all of that then you will get over it.....life's way to short to waste on people who don't deserve your time :)

Leave him .the same thing happened to me .and I waited and suffered like you .ha .he met someone else and got married and they have a kid now .hes not worth it .walk away before he does .thats the best you can do for yourself

Be patient with yourself and enjoy making time for yourself
merry christmas http://www.uggaustralia-shop.com/

I have went through somewhat of the same experience years ago and I can tell you from experience that real love doesn't hurt. For him to tell you those things is emotional/mental abuse. You have to find it within yourself to say you've had enough and leave him alone for good cause he's obviously not worth your time.

Be patient with yourself and enjoy making time for yourself. The more energy you put into thinking about him the less time you are spending time rediscovery or discovering new things for yourself. Build your self esteem up again gradually, patiently and be kind to yourself.

Hi Kkl3v, I believe your here for help and answers. I have not read all of the posts that were sent to you but the many that I have read are telling you to leave this guy, you should listen to them. He is a bully and by you still talking to him you are giving him permission to torment you. You said that you are mending things with your family, that is a great place to start, you need your family. You have the power, now run and run away from him as fast as you can and don't look back. If you answer his calls you will not get away from him, but if you can avoid him you will win your life back. Your heart won't mend over night but it will, just give yourself a chance. Good luck

You really gave him too much power over you, and he's using it to his advantage....

Exactly. And now I'm stuck.

No your not, you just have a tough decision...its either your heart or his...and he made his decision already judgin from what I've read...he just wants to control you...take control before its too late

Hey, would you like to chat a little? (:

Haha, sure.

I'm so sorry kk. I feel your pain. I know how you feel when you say 'I can't imagine finding someone that won't end up leaving' because I've felt the same way. And all you've done is be the best girlfriend you can be. You don't cheat and you try to do everything possible to make this boy smile. & you get taken advantage of. I've been there.
I believe that it's not that he doesn't love you. But, he doesn't realize what he has. He is immature and not ready to commit. I know its hard, but quit talking to him completely. Tell him you are done with all the pain he's caused and you can't deal with it anymore. & if he really cares he will text you. Its so hard, but don't reply to his messages. Then he will call you and you have to decide on if your ready to forgive him. I would personally tell him to call you when he becomes a man. Because you need a man, not a stupid boy. Let him know you can live without him and if he wants back into your heart, he will find a way. But don't make it easy for him.

I've tried so many times to cut him out of my life in hopes that he'd realize how he's acting, but he's gotten ahold of me when I block him and I end up talking to him...i know you're right and I should, but I never am strong enough to keep it up. I end up looking childish...

It seems that this guy thinks that he can just walk in and out of your heart whenever he wants, because he knows you will take him back. If you can just be strong this time you will find in time that it will be worth it. At first, there will probly be alot of heartache. But eventually the pain will fade and you will find a much better guy.

I know this may sound terse or even blunt... but you mentioned your family was against this from the start. This person is hurting you. He's probably doing it out of selfishness, to drive you away, so he can do what he's going to do anyway without any guilt. Turn back to your family, admit that they were right... they will help you get through this difficult time, I'm sure. They may even help you keep him away so he can't do any more harm.

I'm in the midst of mending the family issue, and you're right :( I needed to apologize and they've been helpful.

Yeah, this guy sounds like a real jerk. He is purposely pushing your buttons to provoke response. Not cool at all. He is immature, let him go and find a man that will treat you with respect, a man that respects himself enough to know the difference.

I think I'm struggling with imaging anyone else that would ever treat me better. I think like this is it, that everyone deals with butting heads.

Wake up...you think this is the best you can be treated? This isn't butting heads..this is him belittling you, throwing your emotions under the bus, whatever you want to call it...he is playing head games...NOT COOL! Immature jerk.

Hi Kk ;) What a story you got here! I think your friend has issues that he needs to solve b4 even thinking about a relationship with you. Its just too much baggage to bring into a relationship, don't you think? And also, I think you should respect yourself a little more. this guy treats you like sh#t! **Excuse my Japanese lol **

You are still young, girl! You will find someone special if you would just allow it :)

Peace to you,

KK84

I've tried to respect myself more. I agree with you, you're right.. I don't know where to begin.

Think of all the great things in life and then visualize you in it! You DESERVE only the best that this world has to offer, don't settle for anything less just because it's easy or convenient. If there are people around you who seem to have it all together, then why not you? You are beautiful, Kk. You are smart. You are wise. And the world wouldn't be the same without you living in it! That's what I think of you but what's important is how you see yourself? Believe me, positive thinking will lead to positive actions - I know cause I've experienced it ;)

Your friend,

KK84

Good to note that You FELL. Time to Rise now.
:)
Look Up towards the sky n just try flying Free.
__/|__

I'm trying..thank you.

He really sounds like a horrible person. But believe me, one day, you'll look back and remember these days as unpleasant past... Be patient and stay strong. And best of luck about everything. :)

Thanks! I hope I can look back in it someday.

You're welcome. I wish the same. ;)