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Hurting

i dont even know if people actually read what is posted, i wish someone out there would respond, i am going thru alot of pain, its going on 4 months since my breakup, there is no way we will ever get back together, it ended in disaster, now she wont talk to me at all, ive tried everything but i hear nothing, i miss her so much my heart is really shattered, im so broken because i realized too late that i really loved her, why couldnt it have ended in better terms why did she have to break my heart to pieces, now i dont know how to move on or if i even want to, how do i get up and move on, i will try anything but please dont give rude comments, dont kick me when im down, help me up, at least try
latinlaydey latinlaydey 46-50, F 59 Responses Dec 22, 2012

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so ,so sorry for you...

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Hy hy sweety,I'm hear!

I wan you to know that yes there people out there that read your heartbreak news and I know you feel very sad about this and feel like you where kicked in the gut, there is nothing I can say truly that will make it feel better but only thing is that because of this heartbreak this will leave you open for the true love that now has a opportunity to walk into your life, yes it is going to be hard but do believe you will love again🌹

I know how you feel...I'm in the same position!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am on the other side. My bf of 6 years and I have broken up multiple times. Usually due to his substance abuse or mental health issues or is lack of trust in me. I've relented and have taken him back several times, but due to the emotional damage he has inflicted on me I no longer want to work it out. Do I love him YES. He is giving the same promises, I never hurt you again, I realize what I'm losing, you are my one true love on so on. I just can't do it any more. He wants to know how I can just shut him out and break his heart. I want to know why he didn't realize what a good thing he had each and every time I took him back?

I Hear you !! I just broke up also!! Found out thst she was sleeping with the guy living below me! So I moved out ! My heart is broken 💔 but it will be better in the long one! There are a lit of good women out there for you!!!

I'm so sorry. You need to get yourself out of this hole. Make time for friends, therapy, whatever it takes to begin to heal. Since your sure it's over, don't live your life in misery.

Time is all that works. I know. It has been more than a year for me and the pain is there. Have faith and focus on you

Join the club

Speak to me if you need to, I'll help. Iv been through a lot too xx

It does hurt and i know what you're going through me and my girlfriend loved were together for 4 years and we loved each other, but we broke up because we wanted different thing, but was still so painful. A week later she started seeing a guy from her work, i miss her so much and my thoughts on what i want from life have changed a lot, if only we had waited. But life is full of shoulda, coulda, woulda's and we can go back in time. Its been 3 years since we broke up and she is still always on my mind. When we broke up i also lost contact with all my friends and my family live miles away and i see them maybe once a year. So have just concentrated on work but i feel so alone and no where to go, all i can think is that im always going to be alone. Before i was an outgoing and confident person, a break up can truly change you. All i can hope is that one day i will wake up and be able to move on and that it wont be too late. My advice for anyone else going through a break up, try and move on, keep going, take up new hobbies, try new things and meet new people. Maybe one day i'll listen to my own advice.

If you find the answer tell me

Everyone has read ur experience !!
It's even declared experience of the day!

Keep trying when she left me I was.very sad I thought I will never see her again u wil no believe after 20 years we met n we married if u really love her then keep faith in god he listen every thing that comes from deep of ur heart

you are not alone and its not end of life. just get up,raise up your head and go on with your life. start a new page. but remember to call on God to guide you with right person for you. remove everything concerning her in your phone or diary. but you are not enemies though you are separated.

陆游
红稣手,黄藤酒,满城春色宫墙柳。东风恶,欢情薄。一杯愁绪,几年离索。错、错、错。
春如旧,人空瘦,泪痕红浥鲛绡透。桃花落,闲池阁,山盟虽在,锦书难托。莫、莫、莫。

唐婉
世情薄,人情恶,雨送黄昏花易落。晓风干,泪痕残,欲笺心事,独语斜栏。难、难、难。
人成各,今非昨,病浑常似秋千索。角声寒,夜阑珊,怕人寻问,咽泪装欢。瞒、瞒、瞒

your realization came after your sepration, similarly she would have understood her feelings much before but may be found you ignorant on the same and wouldn't have a courage to come forward and thought of taking a pain now than later....so if you confess your love and made her understand things will be fine for you.

Best of Luck....go and get your lady.

Chetnya

i am not good at opening up except coffee

Hugs Sweetie;
I can tell you are feeling vulnerable and confused at the moment. I am not going to tell you that you should buck up, or suck it up...or whatever stupid comment goes for bad advise these days. None of us need to hear it and certainly not at a point in our lives when it simply isn't possible to shrug it off or when the experience is too central to our being. Losing someone is a bitter experience-it is similar to the process of going through the death of a person you are close too. That you still find it painful at times is normal. I wish I could say that there is some magic pill that would make it go away, but, I would be lying to you. At the same time I can tell you-absolutely, unequivocally, and without any doubt-it will ease. Not only do you have to experience the full range of feelings you also have to learn how to push through those feelings. Certainly, others will tell you that you should keep busy, get out, focus on other interests or find a hobby. They are correct-in part. None of these will totally eliminate the pain, but, they can get us out of the bad habit we have of trying to pick all of the experience apart looking for gold. Since it has been four months since the break up I suggest you ask yourself if it might not be a good idea to talk to your doctor, or a friend and tell them you have been having difficulty with the breakup... I would say this is critical if you are not sleeping well, gaining or losing weight, losing interest in things that you usually enjoy or having difficulty concentrating. A bad breakup can cause a period of depression because it puts an extra stress on our system-producing lots of cortisol and other stress hormones, disrupting our sleep and impacting us physically as well as emotionally. It seems likely this might be a part of the problem which will certainly delay your begining to feel yourself again. I would also point out that this time of year is poison when it comes to being alone or lonely and winter itself can make us feel the blahs even when everything is going well. I hope this helps you a bit and wish I could do more. I can promise that it will get better-you just have to let it...

Thank you, im gonna try n get into a ceramic class, keep busy til i can feel again

I have been braken hearted many times and it does feel like the end of the world for awhile, but if you keep going the old saying that it gets easier with time is true in most cases. If you don't start to feel better try talking to a friend. Don't dwell on it, try to do things that get your mind off from it.

I've never been in a relarionship but i think this might help: tell her that you made a mistake and want to appologize. Maybe she feels the same way but maybe she's hurting just as bad and just wants to be left alone. Either way at she will know hownyou feel.

hi there, i am really sorry you are going through so much pain. I was there a year ago.... i was soooo deeply in love. I cried everyday, i lost 20lbs, i woke up in the middle of the night crying sometimes too.... All i can say is just allow yourself to grieve. allow yourself to be sad.... I think you mentioned it was 4 months ago, so it's still pretty fresh.... just sit with the pain and allow yourself to be heartbroken. Cry, scream, and do it over and over. It is perfectly safe, normal, and ok to be where you are emotionally. Like others in the replies, I too can tell you that time does heal and you will be ok again, but you probably can't fathom that considering where you are right now emotionally. So my best advice is to just be in pain, allow yourself to really feel your feelings. Once you get to that place where the feelings begin to feel redundant or if you feel like you are "wallowing in your pain", then start taking steps to let go. You don't have to let go today, just know that it is something you will one day have to do, (and I don't mean to scare you with this) but otherwise holding onto the love will poison you. Imagine when a woman miscarries and the baby unfortunately passes in her belly. The woman will naturally pass the baby on her own, or doctors will have to go in and remove the child, if this doesn't occur, the passed child will decay inside of her and possibly kill her. Love in the heart is much the same way. It is so hard when we lose, and I am sorry you lost someone you love.... There are no words..... And like I said, 4 months is still fresh, so you have plenty of time to just be in your pain. But just know, that one day you will have to let go. You have to let go so you can free yourself, and you can also free her. There were things for you to learn, and there were things for her to learn. You came together for the time you were meant to come together, and you left when it was time too. She may be the greatest love of your life.... I don't know. But even if she was, there is still love for you in the world, it will just be different, but special in its own way.... And who knows, your greatest love, maybe has yet to come? Perhaps her role was only to prepare you?? Only God knows what your journey has in store for you.... So be in pain, really allow yourself to just cry, and be heartbroken... now is the time. But just know, that one day (and you'll know when it is time), you will have to let go.... Then in time, you can keep your heart open and another butterfly will land on it. Sorry for your pain baby, I was there a year ago.... and I promise you in a year the wounds wont hurt so bad. Much love to you....

well done, loved the reply

thank you so much for ur kind words, i know its gonna hurt awhile longer but i will try n stay busy so i can proccess these feelings n open my heart again

awwwww sweetie I feel so sorry for you!!!

well i ll just suggest you a wonderful site that helped me alot with breaking up with someone i really loved that much ! , look for article called 'how to get over someone in few days' iin this site 2knowmyself.com :) and if u couldnt find it , tell me , hope it will be useful

Thank you i just got bak on again, i will check it out

Sometimes having a horrible breakup that removes someone from your life is the only way to get over them. After all, being with her as a friend is not the same as being with her as a lover. Plus if you are around her all the time. You will have false hope of getting her back and you will not be able to go forth and find new love.

I was in the same boat to back in the late 80s we had been together for 14 years I came home one night and she had just gone I was a wreck I still love the girl from back then. If its any consolation I am Married now with 2 great kids the hurt gets less as the years go by but you never forget.
Good Luck my Friend.

Do you ever try Jesus? He wouldn't let you down, he will open his arms and embrace you. Don't suffer for other human being....seek the eternal love of God nothing else can compare..belive me. Be you own self, your own person. You are the only one to turn around this situation. I can see that you are talking from the flesh and desires....Seek you soul, your spirit...seek God...in God love we do not need nobody.

Wow, I was in that same boat a few years ago, I said exactly the same words, I loved that person so dam much, and found out he never wanted to be with me, It put me off guys all together, I was afraid to love again so I had that attitude of "stuff them all!". It hurt a lot for days, I cried a lot, I cried when I tried to have fun and get on with life, I cried to my friends and whilst their encouraging words made me feel that bit better, I still felt so dam hollow! but I listen to something that I knew was going to help me over time, it was the inner soul whispering to me, it said to "time will heal you and you will feel better, you just need to trust it, this life is here to teach you lessons, and without Hurt, you cannot experience appreciation". Listen to your inner soul, it will guide you. This person left you because you to point you to the real soulmate you will have that you cannot see right now. Since that painful event, I've met the most amazing man in my life, the one who truly loves you will give you tears of joy, not unhappiness. I look back at my ex and thank god he left me so that I can be with the man who was suppose to be with me. Trust me, you will thank her for doing this even though you may not believe it right now. You must let her go of her as she has let go of you. You won't move forward until you accept that it's over. You don't deserve to waste anymore goodness of yourself on her anymore, you need to give yourself more credit. Don't you think you deserve someone who will love you back just as much? You'll be all right buddy, time will be your friend and healer!

Sorry about the grammar, I'm
Using my iPhone and the auto correct is annoying!

And don't fall in love with how it used to be, knock that fantasy out of your mind and truly see it as it is, that she isn't in the scene anymore. The moment you accept this, the quicker you can begin to heal. You are a good person who deserves a good partner, don't settle for any less!!!!

I know how you my heart has been broken also.We can't change how someone else feels.We can only change ourselves.I take one day at a time and pray everyday for god to make me stronger.I will pray for you too.

Thank you for responding, for ur kind words, its still fresh, im still in alot of pain