Iced Heart

How to put it? It's kind of the first time that I will ever share this over the internet. Only a very few persons know about this, ah well:

Long story short, I used to be engaged with a very beautiful girl, on looks but soul as well. What has happened is something that I do not wish for anyone to experience. In 23rd of October 2011 while she was driving with her boss to some other city the car slipped off the road and ended up in a tree. She died instantly... . This is what I've been told by her brother (yes my love life is a rather twisted romance novel and rather hard to explain it or describe it in a few words) and he gave me the news of this 2 months after the incident has happened. Yet the fun part here comes into play. Her family, which acted like they like me when she was alive, showed their true face after her death. They do not want to tell me where my fiancee is buried, they moved out of town and changed their phone numbers. At the moment I am dead inside all thanks to them and my heart is iced up. But it seems that if I smile and pretend to be happy people actually do not notice the pain and suffering that I am passing through... . Even know it pains me to write these words down, but I am thinking that if I am sharing this, I'll be able to move on a little faster, but yet I do not wish to forget her, but unfortunately we weren't too fund of taking pictures of ourselves, I remember that she didn't like it at all when I wanted to make a picture of her. And at that time we didn't even thought that one of us will die before the time. So on short the only thing that remind me of her is my memory. There is the only place that has her memory.

My soul yells from time to time but I kind of start to get comfortable with this pain, even thou there is also the loneliness that aches me, but that is yet another story to be told and this is not the right place to write it down.
Sicu Sicu
26-30, M
1 Response Jan 10, 2013

that's got to be the worst kind of loss. I was just thinking along these lines today that if he had died it would have been nicer because at least when he died I would have been able to always know that he loved me and that had never changed. My condolences to you, I know it doesn't take the pain away at least you're not alone. If you need anyone to talk to...let me know.