I Feel Stuck, But Can't Move On

He broke my heart. I was simply shattered and I feel used. I keep trying to leave. But he keeps coming back.. I can't make a clean break even though I try. He wants a friendship. So do I. But, how can you have a friendship when you are so in love with him? He ditches me easily to go out with other girls. He tells me he's attracted to a girl and thinks he might be in love with her. He and I were together for 4 years. He chased me for so long. I only told him I loved him after a year. He said it after 3 weeks. I really fell for him.. gave him my all. I don't know how to stop. But, I know he's not the same man I fell in love with anymore. He stopping giving.. only taking... everything has become so one-sided. Even though I feel stuck and I want to leave, I am still around because he reminds me every now and then of the man I once loved so dearly. You know, it's like this.. imagine someone you loved died and you meet this other person who reminds you of the perosn you loved so much. And, now, you can't stop talking to this new person cuz he reminds you SO MUCH of the one you can never hold again. I do enjoy his friendship. We were friends first.. and it became more. Now, he ca't let my friendhsip go because he's scared he says. I can see through it. Once he finds a woman to be with, he'd drop me like hot coal. I'm just around to fill the void. I knwo what I'm worth to him, yet I can't stay away.. he doesn't let me either. How do I do it when he calls, emails, texts and is around when I try to disappear. But, when I come back, he's back to treating me like i'm nothing but a void filler. What do I do.. how do I move on. I feel so stuck and cry every night in bed. I'm so tired... yet I can't break free.
MidnightMia MidnightMia
26-30, F
3 Responses Jan 11, 2013

Thank you so much Frenchy and Kat... I'm trying to move on. The emptiness kills me and I wish I could fast forward to the point in time I feel liberated and healed... but, I know it's not possible.. I'll just wait it out ans hope I survive this. Thanks again :)

Well said Frenchy... Midnight I'm in the same boat but it's really recent and the pain is so fresh and it tends to incapacitate me when I allow it to break free. I thought I'd told him to leave and I was done but I sent one last message to him and he keeps responding as if we're still friends. He thinks we can just be friends but I know it's not possible because of just how badly he's hurt me...and the interesting thing is that I know he knows just how much pain I'm in because this was him a year ago after his wife cheated on him. I understand....if you need support, if we can support each other through this rough time then I'd be happy to help. I have been fortunate...I have found someone that is willing to take me as I am, including this most recent baggage that's been added...this man is truly a good person if he is able to do that....so I have some hope...hugs to you!

hey girl, i know how you are feeling and totally understand.. I used to have the same situation with an Ex of mine who really wanted to stay friends with me after we broke up quite passionately.. Its not easy and you will cry a lot.. but you need to make a clean break from this dude.. I know that clinging on to the person he was makes you feel a little bit better sometimes, but at the end of the day, you still get yourself hurt more that he makes you feel good about yourself.

A good friend is a friend that cares about you, your feelings and does not parade in front of you with other women or even telling you he is going to go out with other women knowing it will hurt you.. Good friends never want to hurt eachother.. they want to be there for each other, understand what the other is going through and sometimes, hold you in their arms until you feel better.. If you ex doesn't know how you still feel about him, you should tell him.. and you should take time away from this friendship, until you feel better.. time heals everything, but if you keep seeing him, it will only hurt more and more..

I know it easier said than done, but if he really cares about you, he will respect your decision and give you some space until you work on yourself and get back on your feet..

Being inlove with someone is like a drug.. if you feel you cant get over this on your own, talk to your friends, your family and close ones.. they will be there for you, help you and make sure you heal properly..

I really hope things work out for you..

I completely agree. When I broke up with my ex I was willing to do whatever it took so we could stay friends. But when we hold on to things too tightly, it makes it impossible to see things clearly. You deserve someone to treat you like a princess, so don't settle for anything less. Staying friends with him at the expense of your heart breaking every time, all over again, quite frankly isn't worth it.

Sometimes good-bye is a second chance.
Best,
Ray.

I hear you both. I'm trying and haven't replied to him in 2 days. Has been 3 days of AGONY and I'm trying my hardest not to think about it. It's hard.,, but I'm trying. I wish I could fast forward to when I feel the pain no longer. But.. it's lingering - Aiii :) Thank you.