Please Read!

ustomer how I really feel. But if I want to keep my job I cant do that so I use this website to vent. I love my boy friend more then I have ever loved anyone. the moment I met him I called him family. we have had our major problems sometimes his fault sometimes mine. I would do anything for this boy, but I feel like I am being taken advantage of. in order to not lose him I am constantly taking the blame for everything. I look at my self so low now, I don't think I am pretty anymore and I am a completely different girl then how I use to be. I use to be independent, never letting anyone bring me down but with him if I know he is mad or sad or anything I get a rush of emotions. I want to merry him one day and have kids with him and he says the same thing but sometimes I don't no what to believe. If this boy was so in love with me why would he feel the need to constantly talk to other girls and sometimes say inappropriate things. He calls girls boo, honey, sweety, all of those cute names a boy says to a girlfriend. I use to confront him about it but he would just say I am being super jealous or I don't understand his culture (Hispanic) and I am white. Anyways story goes on I don't no what to do anymore I moved away from home where I was with my family friends and at the time boy friend to a place where I was starting new. I eventually broke up with my boy friend at the time because it was really hard to have a relationship so far away. I came from being together everyday to seeing each other once a month if that the most. Also he cheated on me so that was a deal breaker too. Another thing that came into an account is I met my bf who I am dating right now. it was love at first sight. from the beginning we talked I feel for him that why I understand why so many girls like him. he is special very unique and I want him to myself at least in the since where he calls me cute names, and flirts with me. one question I do not get is why are girls such *******. they see a man has a girl and they instantly want to try to get him. I use to not understand but I now do most girls are just selfish and they have never had another girl talk to their man or they have never fallen in love before. I love my boyfriend and he says he loves me to but I really don't no what to do. every time we fight now it ends with him saying we need a break or we should break up and me begging/crying my eyes out for him to give us another chance. that me taking the blame for everything. Sometimes I want to confront this ***** and be like what is your problem what have I ever done to you. but I no that will just cause my bf to break up with me and say I am crazy. which I am I am crazy in love with him and he does not understand that. sometimes I wish he could feel the pain he brings into my life. But I would never give up on him I love him that much. I would fight until he gives up. which I am scared everyday to him telling me you no what I'm not happy anymore I think we need to be friends. I use to pity these kinds of girls that I have turned into. I use to be lie wow she has problems there are so many other guys out there looking for love and you are stuck on one guy. well I get it now. that one guy is the best thing that has happened to me even if I am not happy all the time. I hold on not because I love him so much but for the hope that he will see that I am in it for real. I'm not here to play games. I am not here to just play with his heart and use him. I think about those kinds of girls and I question there motives is it really because they like the person or is it because they like the challenge and satisfaction of getting what they want. Comment please!
ChickenNuggetGirl ChickenNuggetGirl
18-21, F
Jan 15, 2013