Fell For A Man I Thought Was Love Of My Life

Hello fell for this guy back in 2007, started of as friends and got on really well and eventually he asked me out, had lovely few years, perfect gent and everything I could of wished for in a man, never loved anyone or felt so loved by anyone, until 2010 he started acting a bit weird, so sorry yes checked his phone and found a text, but then the name disappeared and a male name appeared and this guy started texting which I thought was strange, because my ex didnt' have many friends, so again looked and it unless is friend was gay putting kisses on texts I realised it was a woman. I confronted him, he wanted to leave me and then he didn't, but this was only because the woman he was leaving me for hadn't split from her husband, so he was keeping me on the back burner as company until she did, until that is I came home from work one day and found her at his house and we finished that day. He went out with her but kept coming seeing me saying missing me and sorry for everything and I suppose stringing me along, they went out for about 12mths and then I bumped into her in town and I told her that he was still coming over seeing me and told her the things he said and showed her the texts I had received, turns out he had been telling her one thing and me another, anyway they split and he tried and tried to win me back and 6 mths later he managed and said that he been for counselling and realised that he hadn't coped very well at the beginning of our relationship due to his wife dying suddenly, so I believed him as like i said he was the love of my life, we went out together for another 12months until Nov 12, when his kids (15 &20) being rude and didn't want me going round to the house any longer etc etc, he said he had stood up to them saying it his house, but felt he couldn't upset them because they had lost their mum and he said he was all they had left, so we carried on our relationship but him just coming seeing me (by the way we live facing each other) it got to the point where he was making excuses not to see me so I decided to call his bluff and call it a day, to see if this guy truly loved me and would risk losing me. His response was I do love you and want you in my life, but I need to get myself better, I have made myself ill with the situation and felt I was cracking up under the pressure of trying to please my children and you and being busy at work. I am so sorry about everything. (this was on the 25.11.12). My response back was if you loved me then we would get through as love would conquer all. His kids are so disrespectful towards him and he does a lot for them and they just take the P**s. Then started getting texts without kisses on and he is an affectionate person, so this was also a sign for me. I did send him quite a few long texts and couldn't speak to him as filled up quite easily due to the emotions I felt from losing him after all we had been through. He then called round on the 23.12.12 to say sorry but he couldn't see us working as his kids would cause problems and he couldn't cope with that pressure at the moment and wanted some time on his own with his kids, he then kissed me (yes i let him and hugged me and wouldn't let me go and even wanted to have sex but i said no and then he walked away) Decided on xmas eve to have no contact with him and have not spoke to him since, I got a text xmas day saying Happy Christmas and I just didn't respond. My friends encouraged me to join a dating site, just to have something to focus on and chat to diff people, but yes you guessed it he was on and another thing it was his old profile before we started going out back in 2011, he had told me this had been cancelled, but never was. I then joined a diff site and yes he on this one as well. I have since learnt from a friend of ours that he has been dating a lady from Match and has not accessed his account for over a week, but is on another site and is online daily. I know the answer I need to walk away and ignore him but the pain I am feeling is so strong and even though talk to my friends and they are supportive I feel so stupid feeling this way, because they think ignore him walk on, they have never had relationship problems and its hard to explain to them the hurt I am feeling and the rejection. By the way this guy is 47, if he wasn't so near then maybe I would start to forget him quicker. I have considered moving, just the costs involved and what i can afford and I really need to stay in the area I am in for my daughters school so not having much luck there, but moving won't help me now will it. How can I get through all this upset, betrayal and dishonesty? Also been told that he chatted up other people on nights out lately and this has also upset me because i really didn't think he was that type of a guy, if you saw us together you would think what a lovely couple, but I realise now he is a charmer and he said exactly what he thought I wanted to hear to make me feel special and wanted. Will I ever find a decent man and will i ever learn to love and trust again. I want to contact him to tell him what i know and how disgusted I am, thought he wanted time on his own & I found all this out. Sorry for going on just need some advise from people who been through similar situations and thought this might be the way to get help
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 20, 2013