A Fresh Wound

When I think of never talking to Rena again, and I have a hard time breathing. My head feels like its going to explode. I am overcome with the ridiculous feeling of being on the edge of such an emotional low that I feel tears forming at my eyes.
It was only one hour ago that Rena and I had an argument while chatting on line. She was irritated with me because I mentioned a friend's name. She thought that woman was my ex. The woman was like a sister to me, and I refused to feel apologetic because I view her as an excellent example of a successful business woman and mother.
I don't know why this was a touchy subject. I just know that I wasn't in the mood to change my opinion. I didn't do anything wrong. However, I was attacked and disrespected.
Two hours ago, Rena was telling me how great of a person I am and how lucky she is to have me in her life. Next thing I knew, she had blocked me from her email. I found this out when I sent her an email shortly after she hung up on me. I received a reply that said her email address was permanently unavailable.
She had worked fast to cut me out of her life. She added yet another fresh wound.
It is so painful realizing that the one person I love the most in this world, the one person I thought was my partner and best friend in life, could cut me from her life like that. For what? That isn't love to me.
As painful as it is, I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to play this game. I'm a good person. I treated her with respect and dignity. And I only want to be with someone who wants to be with me.
She praised me for working with her through problems, but then this. She said we should never go to bed upset, but then this. She said a lot of things of how we should be, and I wholeheartedly agreed. I guess it just sounded good at the time.
Now what?
Now I take the time to heal.
It's going to take awhile, though.
Doggonnit Doggonnit
41-45, M
2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

Are you sure that was 'it'? I mean; did you really think things through before speaking about the other woman? It sounds like she either didn't know what the status of this woman to you was or you have obviously said something that hurt. Some women are like men in that they have low tolerance of being put off, put down or overly compared. Especially the overly compared. Think about it. You are a man. If a woman consistently compared you (or implied directly/indirectly) to another man, I would be willing to say that you are going to get tired of feeling small, worthless and less of a man. Some men and some women need to realize this when they are proud of a friend or family member and not to build too big of a shrine on that particular person. Because eventually they are going to feel like they are not meeting or exceeding your expectations as a partner. And if they are a non relative, as a woman I would most definitely be wondering what they are doing with me; they obviously want to be with this soooo much better of a woman. And of course, being a woman, she is probably sensitive to this. You must not have been clear enough about that other woman (non blood relative); because just about any woman that I know of would have reacted by flipping out then doing what she did. I hope that you called her and worked things out. Because if it were me; I am sure I would have reacted similarly. If you think about it, think about if it were you. I am sure you would have been hurt too and would have either done the same thing or quite possibly had a heated debate about it. Either way, sounds like you held the door open for this situation and she walked right into it. I am sorry to hear this happened. Best of luck!

I'm sorry....