That's the first time I ever post a story ...
I need suggestion and help and I appreciate those who read this story and feel what I feel ..

This story started a year ago , I fell in love with a married woman , a fully straight married woman with a husband and three kids , a woman who is a homophobe until this current day ...

We fell deeply in love , deeply , she said she loved me the most , we shared every single detail in our life's , I saw her every single day , the age difference didn't matter though she's 13 years older , but love is not a number , love is sharing one heart .

Everything came crashing down since her husband found out , since that day , few months ago we've been fighting often , until the past 2 weeks we fought daily , I grew jealous , insecure , I knew she slept with her husband but I stood up strong because I know he's her family , I'm just a lover ...

We grew apart the past 4 months , from seeing her daily to seeing her 4 times a week ,now to once a week, but I still love her the same way I did.

She's been busy extremely socialising with her friends while I don't see her and we don't spend time anymore .

She says she loves me but I feel she's withdrawing , I feel ice in the air , my heart is breaking , I thought she's the one .

She says the words "I love you" but love shows instantly when you look into someone's eyes , I feel she's cold and maybe she is reevaluating all this , but could she reevaluate this a month before our year anniversary ?

I'm suffering from sleepless nights , trying to go out spend time away , but the pain and hurt for being distant from the one I love is killing me ...
Purple87 Purple87
22-25, F
4 Responses Jan 23, 2013

My wonderful lover just recently left me. Hes been waiting for me to seperate from my husband. Impatiently patiently waiting. Divorce/seperation takes a while. He couldnt hold on and I miss him terribly. Maybe you should break it off with her so that she figures out what she really wants. Thats whay my love told be before he cut me off.

I'm sorry to hear that jaded116, but if your lover truly loves you he will stay around waiting , il be waiting for my lover , and il be waiting for a long time .he should be able to support you both emotionally and financially before you file for divorce .

He says he will be waiting but that its best we cut off all correspendences. He says he is having a horrible time only having me partially in his life. He has offered financial support but I cant do that to him. Its my responsibility to take care of myself. I agree that he should be able to support me emotionally but I cant make him go through this anymore. He said if I loved him I would let him go until the time is right. What else can I do?

I have a horrible time waiting to have some time with my lover too ...
If your heart and mind meet concerning getting a divorce and spending the rest of your life with your lover ,then you should sit and think , always give a year of trial before commitment because sometimes you are all in love but after a year the real personality shows up .

My heart and Mind are in tune with the divorce. I should never have married my husband but It was a bad time in my life, so I made bad decisions. I can say whole heartedly that I would be a very lucky woman if my lover wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He is amazing in every way. I will most definitely take it slow with him. I was rushed into a marriage with my husband and it caused me to be in the situation im currently in. Im hoping the next few weeks will go by fast.

I wish you the best , and I wish you share life with someone you truly love.
To me love is the core of life ...

I believe love is the core of life too :) Im just going to have to work hard at this divorce and Make up for lost time when I reach out to him again.

3 More Responses

I think too that she is reevaluating. When passion fades away, reason starts to dominate, and from the reasonable viewpoint she must quit, because she has children, she has a husband and what's more important she is not going to leave her family and this means there is no common future for you and her. She keeps telling you about love because she feels sorry. And being with a person only because of pity is a mean thing, if she does not love you anymore she should be honest with you. If she can't, probably she is going to keep this lingering for too long, you have to leave her. I know how hard it is, but, first, if you break relationships yourselves, this would be a relief for both of you, and second, this is hard experience, but it's also precious, love, suffering, any emotions are precious , you should consider them just as different colors of one gem. It's better to have love and break up experience than not to have love at all in your life.

Thank you for your support

Oh, I feel for you so much, it you really love someone you must set it free to love and it may return to you. Keep up what you are doing and try and make some new friends. It will take a lot of time to heal, although you may never heal, you will simply learn to deal with it.

Thank you for your support

Its an very complex situation u r in.I know how it feels u just can't stop loving someone suddenly.

If you really love someone they will always have a piece of your heart :(