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Were They Empathetic?

When someone breaks up with you and you get hit between the eyes, never saw it coming, do you think the other person is empathetic? I learned by thinking about how the last year and a half was with my boyfriend and I, and all the red flags I ignored. How he treated his family and coworkers was a true sign of how little patience he had. It was all about him and what he wanted, never put himself in someone else's shoes. Selfish. I certainly know one of the things I will look for in my next person. EMPATHY.
Tootsiepops Tootsiepops 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 29, 2013

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Exactly Fishlover. I am usually so clouded in the first 3 months of a relationship that I never want to admit there are red flags when in fact they are staring me in the face. Well, now I am going to pay more attention to those than let me be blinded by love. I realize though that everyone has some sort of baggage, but when the bad overrides the good..there is a problem indeed. Man oh man did I learn a lot this time around. I feel foolish.

OMG I too noticed that in my ex....he acted nice to some people but never had a long exchange with them except a few people and he didn't have much patience either and only thought of his own selfish needs.......why didn't I see it.....his wavy hair and strong arms got in the way or superceded these negative things,,,next time I hope to be more cognitive and less biased also....observing these things 6 months into the relationship is usually helpful because this is when they start showing their true colors more.

Thanks so much Rixanne. Isn't it amazing what we put up with when we are in love? Excuses and sweep it all under the rug. I also decided I'm not going to accept the crumbs being thrown my way any more. I deserve much more than that. We all do.

you and me both! red flags, flashing warning signs, from the beginning. I excused them all and believed his bull that "they deserved it"...Me, being gullible, believed him, although I started to wonder how so many people "deserved it". I've had one or two people in my life who were deserving of "paybacks" but EVERYbody? lol Great observation Tootsie, that's on my list now too.