Somewhere, Fairytales Come True

Three weeks ago, I found out, my wife of 11 years, the love of my life, was having sex outside our marriage. Honestly, the sex doesn't bother me as much as knowing that the person I love more than anything in the universe, could hurt me so badly. I feel like I'm in a bad dream, and I can't wake up.

When we were on our honeymoon in Bora Bora, we went parasailing. There was one other couple on the boat, and they were quite possibly the most beautiful couple on earth. They were young, totally in love with each other, and extremely nice.

I know that they were just two human beings, like my wife and I, and have probably had their share of problems that seem inevitable in life. They may be divorced. Their marriage may be in shambles, but I prefer to remember them, frozen in time, in that one perfect moment. It gives me hope that the world is not a horrible and cruel place. Hope that maybe, while my dreams are shattered and my heart crushed, that somewhere, there is that one perfect couple, the one couple that defeated the odds. Right now, in some place in time, they are embracing each other in a perfect unity, that we once had, but got lost somewhere along the way. It gives me hope, not for me personally, but for love.

My wife told me that, among other things, she wanted to know what it felt like to break someone's heart. She was referring to one of her affairs. She didn't even think that she was hurting me by what she was doing. Yesterday, was the first time she said she was sorry. I wish I could make her understand the pain I feel, but I love her too much. I could never do that to anyone, let alone the love of my life, the mother of my children. I love our children so much, and I could never do anything that would hurt them, so I have to live with this pain for the rest of my life. But maybe this is what I needed to see how wonderful my life has been to this point. I would never trade all of this suffering, for not being able to see the faces of those two beautiful chidren that love me and call me "Dad." I will keep it together for them. I will be happy for them. Life starts today. There is hope.
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1 Response Feb 8, 2013

Wow. You are much stonger than I would be in this situation. As a matter of fact, I was in your situation with my ex husband whom I was married to for 18 years. I'm sorry, but for me, once that trust is broken like that it is gone forever. I know there are children involved, I have one too, but you obviously have this bothering you, otherwise you would not be here. May I stongly suggest you both go to couples counceling so this never ever happens again. She broke a code. An Oath. That's what marriage is. You are not just dating someone and they had an affair. This is your wife. Stand up for yourself and be strong. I am so pissed for you right now. Sorry.