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I Have a Broken Heart

3

By: miramaid
Written on February 12th, 2013
I am 28. I am single. Again. Longest relationship was 2 years. I am truly a nice person as some of my men friends say "a gorgeous woman, who is incredibly intelligent, funny, and smart, kind and loyal as a dog. And she is perfect because despite all that she acts like fat ugly woman" (meaning that I am not a *****, I am open, I can't play games to save my life and men take advantage of me...a lot). I have no problem getting dates. At all. But when it comes to a relationship i seem to always give it my all, be the best I can be. I have never fallen out of love neither had I ever DATED someone I did not want to invest significant chunk emotionally. Yet every single man i dated either cheated on me and treated me poorly or was not in love with me (despite admitting that i was "everything any man can wish for"). So I am 28, single and heartbroken as 2 days ago my now ex told me that i was sexy, his best friend on Earth and everything any man can wish for but he didn't have the feeling that i was "the one"... I am afraid to always be alone.For the first time in my life afraid. And I am afraid that every man i ever meet will always look around for something "better" and will never appreciate me and love me even on the same level as I love them (and I do love very deeply). I am very unhappy and scared. I really want to find love and invest all of me into it without a fear of being abandoned...again
By: miramaid
Age: 26-30 , Female
253 people have read this story

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16 responses
  • thomastown
    thomastown

    the right person will come along stop beating yourself up its not your fault when you least expect it he will be there be glad for those tat has left you for they did not really love you for the person you ar

    Mar 12
    1 like
  • breastlover81
    breastlover81

    have you been going for the wrong type of guys? from what you say, you sound really amazing to be with.

    Feb 26
    1 like
    • miramaid
      miramaid

      I was told that before. They sure don't seem like a "wrong type" to me since I fall for them. Often I think that something is wrong with me only I can't figure out what

      Feb 26
      1 like
    • breastlover81
      breastlover81

      i have a friend, she always goes for proffessional athletes and bad boys. i guess thats what she is attracted to. but they always cheat on her and treat her like crap. but for the last 10 years she keeps going for the same type of guy. i told her, maybe try find a different type of guy. but she still do goes for the same guys. i know we cant help who we are attracted to. but sometimes we need to try something different if what we are doing doesnt work.

      i guess thats what i meant with my answer. maybe you need to try and find a different type of guy. one that is on the same level as you. cause going by what youre saying about yourself. youre a pretty awesome girl to be with

      Feb 26
      1 like
  • maezamora
    maezamora

    Im 28 like you. Started dating @ 25 wind up not with dream guy but instead with a freak. Got cheated with my 1st bf and i left him only to wind up with my next cheater boyfriend as well. It was like hell. Believe me there's still someone right out there for us. :-)

    Feb 19
    2 likes
    • miramaid
      miramaid

      I know exactly what you mean. Cheating is something I had unfortunately experienced not once before. I hope there is somebody out there for us. I just feel like I am loosing hope and I have to embrace the loneliness ahead of me and not having my soulmate. And that is painful to think that

      Feb 19
      1 like
    • maezamora
      maezamora

      heheheeh... I know it will be worth waiting... all of them was a hurry but they all wind up wrong... and almost the same... having almost the same experiences with the two guys hurt me almost in the same way... so il be careful d next time around... being alone is better than being tortured emotionally daily..heeheheh

      Feb 19
      1 like
  • glitterspill
    glitterspill

    I can relate. I am careful to look for red flags and act accordingly, yet I still get rejected over and over. They adore me in the beginning and then lose interest. It's really hard to comprehend what has gone wrong and then change my own behavior when I honestly think I am being a great girlfriend in all respects. Sense cannot be made of dating. It's so hard. I feel your pain girl!

    Feb 13
    1 like
  • bbqchickenrobot
    bbqchickenrobot

    Sounds like another good girl that is going to keep meeting the plethora of a-holes out there that will eventually cause he to become jaded. Sucks. Guys like me still look for women like you and trust me, won't let go so easy once you find something of your caliber. Too bad that dating is like that these days. It's like a recreation these days lol. Stay strong and don't let these experiences change you. You may want to talk up front during the initial dates to find out if these guys have ever had a long term relationship. If they are serial daters that should be your hing/flag to maybe proceed with caution/discretion. I have been in only four relationships in my life. The shortest was a year and a half. The longest was six years. The average is about three years. Hopefully you'll find that as well!

    Feb 12
    1 like
    • miramaid
      miramaid

      I do try to talk about certain things up front. With my ex...his longest relationship was 5 years. But yet he is 38 and still single (left me 3 days ago too so...). I don't know. I hope I will find that as well too. But as of right now, it feels like the next one will do the same as the others. Thank you for the comment!

      Feb 12
      1 like
  • mizaan
    mizaan

    Being human when dont over load the truck because we know the capacity of a truck, then he is the lord who created us, definately he very wel knows ur capacity, u r not broken, jus change the gear and move on baby:-) best of luck....

    Feb 12
    2 likes
  • sizzzlin69
    sizzzlin69

    Sorry you are in pain. You come across as needy. I don't mean to be mean, just saying that a lot of people back away from emotional baggage. You would benefit on working on your self-esteem, and then you will attract a mate who will be everything you want. Trust me, I say this with experience. Til then, spend time working on you. Hugs!

    Feb 12
    1 like
    • miramaid
      miramaid

      i have been going to counseling for a couple years thinking that smth is wrong with me or that I am in act needy... I was told I was not and that my expectations were in fact healthy. Neither did anyone i ever dated complain that i was needy... so i dont think that is the case. Thanks for the comment

      Feb 12
      1 like
    • sizzzlin69
      sizzzlin69

      Sometimes people just aren't compatible, no matter how hard you try. Have you and your counselor explored why you keep choosing these men that aren't available to fully give themselves to you?

      Feb 12
      1 like
    • miramaid
      miramaid

      There are so many "may be it is because...." (insert any possible and impossible reason) that it is impossible to point out. It can be those or none of those or all of those and I just don't know. Thanks for the feedback again

      Feb 12
      1 like