No One Like Romantic Gestures Any More.During my undergrad years i was a member of the university's anime club. I became friend with a beautiful women named Jacinta. We would talk about the part of our lives that make us geeks without judgment , like anime, video games, making costumes, how Marvel trumps DC. We're geeks so what did you expect. I worked up the courage to ask her out for dinner and i literally did "spider man" push ups. when i went back into my dorm room. I had everything set up since i worked at the Hotel/restaurant for years that we were going to. First i made sure that it would be just in the area. We sat alone in the lounge with drinks and appetizers. Second, i set up our table next to the fire place with roses(here favorite) in a vase on the table, i made sure that she was able to take that home with her. 3rd knowing she liked the video game series kingdom hearts II, I made an item from the game, sea salt ice cream, the night before and had the chef bring it out for us when i gave it to him that morning. the night ended I drove back to the dorms (we lived right across from each other). I then gave her a kiss on the side of her lip as we said our goodnights. Here's where my heart is about to burst from peanut butter asphyxiation.
About a week later I was told by her roomate Aillen that she likes me. It was 12 years since my first love, then it happened again. So i finally asked her to be my girlfriend, she said no. wanna know why. I wasn;t a christian, i'm buddhist. I had to drive somewhere safe so no one could see me cry. I held it in when i got to a liquor store and bought a bottle of Dewar's. I just drank and cried for about 3 hours, (I'm still coherent because my racing thoughts slow down when i drink. What , out of the 100's of theories i came up with could it have been. Religion shouldn't have mattered. after that it just became awkward and stressful for me , but she just went about like nothing happened. One night while i was listening to Joshua Radin's "december"in December. i walked outside of the quad. I was thinging about why am i such a bad person if i can't get someone in my own social group to like me. At that point I knew that i was misdiagnosed because life should't be this much frustration and confusion of trying everything to be normal and it doesn't work. So I just laid back in the snow, and drifted off. I was later found by a group of girls from some organization that was concentrated on helping others with emotional issues. They brought me back to their dorm and brought me back to my sane state.
To this day i see her since we're part of the same costume troupe. but we acted civil. it still hurts, but it got worse when i found out a couple of days ago (2 years since she broke my heart) that she is a Lesbian. My head went to another place where i couldn't speek but i could think faster about why she never told me this after leading me on this whole time. Then i though if that were true , i might have influenced her to be a lesbian( 35% of homosexuality has been admittedly to the environment, sry if that offends you it was not my intent.) or even worse she was just ******* with my head. I know i usually say this on most of my stories, but please tell me that women who won't use, manipulate, and humilate the nice guy that you keep saying you want, but run back to your ******* boyfriend who says it'll never happen again in the 16th slap in the face who you think you can corrrect their bad boy ways but can't because you can't polish a turd.