I'm a Sad Sac of Blood.&nb...

I'm a sad sac of blood.  A fluid sac roaming the earth until I'm pierced and my fluids return to the earth.  I can't seem to let the female fluid sacs into my life.  They have hurt me numerous times and my fluid pumper has been compromised. 
ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton
41-45, M
16 Responses Jun 4, 2007

Great way of putting it. lol<br />
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I have felt the same way. Hang in there.

LOL...I believe in what you're saying 100%...well put! I am getting better with my thinking and my self image. I've come a long way since I wrote this post.

Hey Raditsbrandi...I don't really understand the story either....I wrote it long ago while I was SUPER depressed. Thanks Antiyou....I'm not miserable, life is better and gets better every day. I still struggle in many ways and I write about them here on EP.

i just read your last post reformed automaton; you should never think anyone is too good for you. thats the kind of attitude that will only hold you back...the ****** people in our lives are just a part of all the crap we have to endure inorder to learn lessons to eventually lead a great life (it seems unfair, i know). i personally think you can only be miserable for so long before something great falls into your lap. i hope that happens soon for you :)

I don't understand the story at all. An analogy beyond my comprehension. But I, too, have a broken heart. And I hope it gets better soon and that yours healed (or heals; this is an old story) quickly. I don't see how anyone can take this misery for long.

Hi Mizzblue...thanks for responding. I've been up and down a few hills since I wrote this. I opened up quite a lot with the girl I was seeing last spring....opened up too much. I told her every detail about the toughest times in my life, my insecurities, etc. She pretended to care but I later found out that she was cheating the whole time and just using me to get around town (and for sex LOL). <br />
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I've been seeing a couple of women since then and have been careful to not tell as much about myself. I'm learning lessons...slowly. I'm still quite unhappy with where I am love-life wise. I can't seem to find someone that I feel really attracted to and have the feeling be mutual. I still need to work on being more proactive when I see someone that seems interesting. I still feel very shy much of the time and I think I'm passing up on possibly meeting really cool (and attractive) women cause I think they are too good for me.

Wow- I can tell that you really hurt. <br />
I have major - MAJOR trust issues, and built a wall so high and thick around my heart that I let NO ONE in. <br />
I made a promise to myself - just this last month - that I will try like hell (even if it kills me) to start letting people in. <br />
YOU HAVE TOO - but you can choose who you let in! And you can choose what you share. You don't have to share everything at once. <br />
I decided to do this because I am so damn lonely - and sad. Thanks so much for sharing this . . .

Good deal PA. You da man ;^)

Thanks Mystical...I've actually come around okay and now have a girlfriend for the first time in years. I'm a little nervous about it LOL...but it is good for me mentally no matter whether it ends in heartache or not. It was important for me after years of loneliness to show that I can have a relationship.

I share your problem. I'm sick of liking guys that don't like me back. Good luck buddy, you seem like a really nice guy so I'm sure you'll meet the right girl soon. :)

No it was fine, life isn't the same for all people. We all have our struggles and we also all have things that come easily to us. Life is a mixed bag for sure.

Well some people don't have many problems meeting good people who fit their own personality well. Some people do.

Haha, hey I have seething rage too LOL

I feel exactly the same way about men (but add in that typical seething female rage)...

very inspirational, thank you

as a kid when you fall of your bike you get back on it (scraped knees and all) or you find yourself walking alone while your friends are on their bikes ... we've all had our hearts broken ... you have to try, try, try again until you find success. it takes some of us longer than others but if you refuse to even make any attempts at a relationship ... prepare yourself to wake up suddenly and realize you're 55 years old, your body isn't what it once was, maybe your hair is gone and you're alone ... what a shame! what a waste! what did you miss out on all because you were too scared to try? i bet you missed out on the best thing to ever happen to you. sure you might have missed out on a number of broken hearts but ... it's worth it. don't ask me how many times i've climbed back on my bike. it's embarrassing but i keep getting back on that bike as if i'm a glutton for punishment or sado massechistic or something ... to me it's worth it.