How can I have the broken heart?
I hurt her so many times. I let her down so many times. I skipped out on a wedding date. I drank. I spent all of our money ( on nothing!) And she loved me and tried to make it work for almost 12 years. I always made sure everyone knew how much she meant to me, and all of my friends and family know that w/out her I am a mess. She stood by me through it all, abuse the whole nine ******* yards. One thing that I missed was EVERYTHING. I missed her crying out to me, begging me to love her, wanting to be with me of all people. And I missed it.
So how can I have the broken heart? She finally could not stand by while I drove us down a messed up path. She is an amazing woman and I hate the fact that she loved me because by the time I woke up to realize it she was gone. I guess in the back of my mind I thought she would never leave. After hurting her for so long and putting us behind the eightball financially she is gone and I am now dealing with the fallout.
I have no right to have a broken heart. When you consider how long I tried to convince people how tough I was. I made this mess, and she gave me her heart and soul. All I did was stomp on it. Ladies: Make sure you watch out what man you give you heart to, because the man may love you with all his heart, but like me, some guys forget to show it, or do anything about it. Then when the woman is gone, we wonder why or complain. She will always be the one for me, and I have a lifetime of wondering how I ****** up the perfect situation. Watch out fellas, if you love her make sure she knows it. If she loves you make sure you give it right back. Don't hurt her just because... it will get you in the end.
You will always wonder if she is thinking of you when you are doing something that you and her did...probably not. Women are stronger than men. She is forging on with a new life, maybe one day she will forgive me for what I've done to us, but not anytime soon. Until then, I suffer.