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Divorce For Your Children Is the Hardest Thing

My hubby has made every hard - even for our son.

He misses his daddy - so much.  He cries for him at night, and he won't come and see him.  This kills me --

This little boy thinks the world of him ... and he doesn't care.  He is only 4 --

I really try not to cry in front of him, he needs me -- but my son is half of his dad. 

 

And this breaks my heart - he is the best kid, he kisses you, hugs you, always wants to play with you. 

 

I know everything happens for a reason, but God - he is four - please give him a break. 

MizzBlue72 MizzBlue72 36-40, F 19 Responses Jan 19, 2009

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i can relate..my ex wife was nailed by a coworker and her pastor and after the div she did al she could to turn my son against me, but it backfired on her...when your son grows he will reliaze a lot more then,.trust me kids are NOT stupid they are smarter that you think. in time your own son will make YOU feel better and be a support to you like you are for him now..leave your ex alone, the hell with it. just let your son know your doing all you can to let his dad see him and tell him his dad does not want to., it will hurt but he will understand in time...

I too am going through a similar situation. My husband (still married, though separated nine months now) tells our children that he will come get them for the weekend, then doesn't show. What's worse is that he won't call them either, or even answer (when we had a number to call him at) for a week or more after he said he'd be there. My children are often hurt by him, yet he will drop by at school out of the blue to have lunch with them....and they come home full of smiles and promises soon to be broken. I do not hate him....but I hate what he is doing to the children. It is not fair for the child(ren) to suffer the way they do when parents can't make things work between themselves.

I feel for you i know exactley what your going thru im also going thru the same thing as of know my son is only 18 months old and he hasnt been sleeping good because he use to his dad putting him to bed and everytime he see his dad he looks at him and says you go bye bye meaning home with him and it just tears me to pieces

I can feel your pain. It will get better. I'm sending you something I wrote. Take care

Reading your story really help me to do my best to make things work with my husband.We have a 2 ,4,6,& 9 year old and today i wanted to give up but the kids would be heart broken if there dad did what your ex is doing(i wouldn't put it past him).I hope all goes well for you and your son.

MizzBlue, I was on the other side of this. My idiot ex-husband would drive by our house and would make my daughter cry because she would see him but couldn't go with him. She cried for him a lot, but it was her trying to work thru us not being married and together any more. She's 8 years old now and she seems to be just fine with everything. She even says now that she is fine with it all.<br />
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It's really so much harder when they are so young...it will get better...hang in there...HUGS! Kathy

Truthiz thank you .... I need to really come to terms with that. Head - NOT heart.

Divorce is very hard on the children. Be careful because the same man that doesn't care about your son's tears now will use the child to control you, monitor you, destroy your future relationships, and may try to get custody to get money from you. I've been going through this for 10 years now and it is not over yet. Be smart and strong! Think with your intellect and not your emotions.

Thank you - he is seeking help, and they are getting together more and seeing each other.

That's so sad :( I think parents should always love their children no matter what. I hope things will be fine for you and your son eventually.

I rally do not want to keep my son from his dad. I don't want to hurt my son either. So hopefully - this will work itself out. <br />
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I think it is really wrong for either parent to keep the kids away ... I really hope he gets better.

i know how u feel. Just love eachother. Everything will work out for the best.

In time your son will forget him. He will move on and have a happier life anyway.Who needs a Father like that. He sounds like a selfish jerk who doesn't deserve a son.

Thanks all - <br />
I have tried to have his dad, my dad and my uncle talk to him about seeing his son. I've offered many solutions, but he doens't want to do it. <br />
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I know he hurts, and reall hates me, but I really do want him to see his son.

I know just talk to your son and his dad.<br />
Tell your son daddy went away for awhile.<br />
Talk his dad and tell him over and over that HIS son needs him once and awhile. Even if it is just visits. It will help

I know this is a hard time for you and your kids, my parents got divorced when I was 6 I didn't blame my father until I had my second son, I realized then that my father had actually abandoned me and my brother. No matter how nuts my mother was he should not have broken up the family. ( reallys he was just as crazy as she was anyway) No matter what he did he could have made up for simply not being there and one night a week and alternate weekends did not cut it. He is still in my life but I feel like he will never know me or who I am because I didn't grow up with him.<br />
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If your husband doesn't have anyone to tell him that he needs to be there for his son maybe that's why your marriage didn't work out. Family and friends have to be there for a marriage to work and they have to be involved.<br />
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Sorry to be so preachy. I really feel for you...

I do hope that your issues will be resoved and you will see better days. I was myself a product of a troubled childhood. I understand everything.<br />
Different people have different issues. It is important to see what went wrong where and mend it.<br />
Some parents should never be togather, some parents should never be separated.

Don't take this the wrong way,Mizz. <br />
He may want to see his son,but he may feel he can't cope with seeing you. <br />
The ideal would be for a third party to talk to him,and gently remind him that - however strained things are between the two of you - he has a lifelong responsibility to his little boy. <br />
I hope this is sorted soon. This is hard on everybody,but your son doesn't deserve any of the fallout.

I was young when my parents divorced. I know this can be tough for everybody.<br />
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Hugs MizzB