So I've been friends with this girl for several years now and I've always been crazy about her. Our relationship is unique to say the least. We have really good rapport but will go months without talking because we both lead busy lives. When we are hanging out though it usually ends in her falling asleep and us sharing a bed. I made some stupid advances early on that were denied but since then it has kind of plateaued into innocent snuggling which is always initiated by me and the response is always either nonexistent or neutral.

So I saw her for the first time in a while last night and we were supposed to go out to dinner but she got off work too late and she ended up just bringing her dog over and we hung out, drank a few beers and the night ended in the typical fashion. So this time I decided to ignore the neutral responses (if she didn't like it to some degree I would get a negative response or she would stop making plans with me, right?) stayed close throughout the night and I held her hand a lot which is atypical for us. She woke up suddenly one time when I moved her hand slightly and she pulled her hand away. I took it as a fluke because she seemed more startled at being awoken so I kept pushing the issue. I would hold her hand off and on depending on my sleeping position and on a few occasions she ended up tightening her grip on my hand as I pulled it away; she never did anything more though so she could have just been reacting in her sleep. She also doesn't react to arms wrapped around her or placed on her stomach/hip/back.

My questions for the community are pretty simple and id love so opinions:

1. What's general opinion here?
2. Am I being a douchebag/creeper by keeping this up until I get more than a neutral reaction?
3. Is a neutral or lacking response actually a negative response?
4. Why would she keep coming around and putting herself in this situation if she isn't going to reciprocate?
5. Am I friend zoned for life? I've come to terms with having to bury these emotions; I've been doing it off and on for 5 years and it gets easier every time but it also leaves me colder and colder towards other females.
tourok tourok
26-30, M
Aug 18, 2014