I've stopped crying at the drop of a hat. I've gone back to work and am still struggling to see the point in it all. I still feel broken. I taught a class today for 7 hours. It was a great distraction to teach a class CPR and FA and all that jazz. I had a lot of students say it was their best experience in that class. That they learned a lot and it wasn't boring. It was so nice to hear but when it was over. . . Who did I have to talk to about it? Who did I have to curl up with to enjoy my evening? No one. Work is a great distraction, but coming home is so disappointing. I would normally have messages and him to embrace my days with. And now I just don't see the point.

I haven't let anyone touch me. The last person to physically lay hands on me was him. Remembering him caressing my arms as he started breaking my heart.

When does that get better? When do I stop dreading going home? When is the pain over?
sar4952 sar4952
31-35, F
2 Responses Aug 20, 2014

I wish I could answer that with a simple answer. My greatest love left me 3 1/2 weeks ago and I have been struggling constantly. Crying every night. Only sleeping 2-4 hours each day. My heart is laying in little pieces on the ground for everyone to step on. I have stopped crying every night and the pain has become a little bit less but I still will get surges of emotions that are just brutal. I see that it is slowly going down though and the thought of spending my life without her is terrifying. She was the only woman that every got me, understood me. I am pretty sure there will be no other. My point is that the pain will go down in time but you must keep busy. Very busy. I work 12 hours a day just so I don't have to sit and think. I also come to this site all the time and talk to others going through similar pain as I am. It helps both of us to talk about what is hurting.
You might also look at this link if you are trying to move on with your life. Some have found it useful and others not so much.
http://www.wikihow.com/Let-Go-of-Someone-Who-You-Deeply-Loved
If you ever need to talk I am here trying to pick up the pieces to rebuild my shattered heart.
I wish you the very best. HUG

If your like me and he's that special, it's going to take a while. Just remember, there's another who would be happy with you and satisfy all your needs. Don't let it not happen because you can't give your all to someone new.