I really don´t know how to start this, but the need to talk to someone has become so big. I have Friends and Family, but they think that I have such a perfect relationship and I don´t want them to know that it isnt like that at all.

I met my Partner Online 2006. We dated a few times and noticed that there were feeling pretty quick. He owns an old Farmhouse and his Mom lives there too. 2009 we decided to move together and so that we have our own space, he ripped down a part and we build our own home there. I love him alot and he is such a sweet guy.....except for the fact that he cheats on me.

Every time I catch him he swears he wont do ist again..but he does. I dont want to leave him because apart from that we have a lovely life. I cant leave him because I feel that I will not manage alone and that nobody would want me. I mean..if the man that loves me cant be true to me and makes me feel so worthless...why would another want me?!?!

Everytime that I realise that there was someone else I fall deeper. I really feel as if I am not worth a thing and it hurts so bad.

I know you will probably tell me to leave him, but I cant and I dont want to. Maybe I am stupid, maybe I believe in love too much....I dont know. I just needed to tell this somebody...anybody.

Thank you.
BrokenandlostX BrokenandlostX
41-45, F
4 Responses Aug 22, 2014

After reading your experience I felt the need to respond to it. But looking at everyone else's advice I don't think mine would be any different. This man might very well be in love with you and just cheating because he knows he can get away with it or you could just be his comfort zone he returns to after playing the fields. He might just want to eat his cake and have it too. Liking the excitement of new lovers and the closeness if an intimate relationship. Whatever the case it's no okay for someone to treat you this way. He sees how much you hurt and than he does it again. That isn't love. I know it not hard to walk away from what you have to the unknown n uncertainty but sometimes it's the right thing to do. It'll be much easier to walk away than if he finally leaves you for someone else. Good luck wt everything. Only you know what's right for you.

It sounds like your not happy with the situation that he cheats on you, he sounds like he is taking advantage of you, knowing that each time you will just except it. You should feel that you deserve better. It might feel that there is know one better than him, but don't be led into false pretence. You have a choice, continue to be unhappy with a guy who cheats on you, and waste many years until you realise this is not what you want, and then regret all those years of waste, or separate from him, ending your heartache each time he cheats, and give yourself chance of finding someone who appreciates a decent human being. Is what you have now really love?

I'm not going to tell you to leave him because you probably love and care for him a lot. But it seems to me that he doesn't feel the same way about you. I'm not a professional counselor, but i am going to give you some advice. Just ask yourself why you feel in love with him in the first place, why did you move in with him?, do you think he is same man you feel in love with at the beginning?, and if he loved you, why would he cause you so much pain?. That's all i have to say, like i said i'm not a professional counselor, but i do hope you take my advice into consideration, because i can't stand to see someone suffer over the mistakes of other people. I wish you all the best in the near future.

Seek counseling dear. You need to build up your self esteem and realize you only feel this way because he is making you feel this way. His cheating is eroding your self esteem.
Also remember whom ever he sleeps with you sleep with. You do not want the STI that he can bring home. Basic respect says he should not be subjecting you to this.
You can manage alone honey. A lot of us who thought we couldn't find out we can. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks about your relationship. Only you know how it is and only you can put an end to the foolishness.