So I have been with this guy for 10 months. Its been long distance, not super far but an hour and a half apart. He promised me after a huge fight about 3 months ago he would try to find a job here so he could move then never did it. He said he said it just to keep us together because he didnt want to lose me. He also has a 7 year old that I love like he is my own. Well we just got into another huge fight about him not looking for a job here and he broke up with me because he wants to leave things the way they are. He says hes not ready, he its too hard, and he doesnt want to start paying his own bills. Ive cried for days we both want to make it work but I told him I need some kind of time frame, he just wants to leave things the way they are and not worry about it. Do I give up the man I love and his child because I dont want to wait or do I just let him go? Im so lost and so confused. My heart hurts and I dont want to be without him, but I need to know I have a future with him. What should I do?
xtattooedgirlx xtattooedgirlx
26-30, F
3 Responses Aug 24, 2014

You have to let him go he needs to grow up . if someone really loves you and wants to be with you they will at least try very hard to find another job it hurts so much but no one deserves To keep begging that person to change or to be with you maybe he will realize what he lost and even if it doesn't don't waste your time . I'm going through the same situation instead of growing up getting his life together he prefers to have fun and live his single life go out drinking and more so I let him go it was one of the hardest things after 3 years . But I can't keep begging for someone to change and you shouldn't either

He is not ready for commitment. I am so sorry.

I am kinda in a similar situation except today we actually broke up :( after 5 years of a relationship. After living together and having to move separate ways due to school. Questions arose. Being an hour apart has made it hard. But I can tell you if you are beginning to question the relationship it maybe likely it won't go as you wish.

Well he did break up with me on Wednesday. Today he came to bring me my stuff. I just wanted him to keep his promise that he made to me and now he says hes not ready. I told him we needed to come to a compromise. Mine was that we can leave things the way they are for now like he wants but I want some sort of time frame as to when this will be a possibility. He says he cant do that. His compromise was keep things the way they are and start to save money and when we are (he is) ready to look for a better job, start looking and then whenever we have saved enough money living apart then we can think about moving in together. The thing is moving here he can move into my moms with me for a short period of time then we can get our own place. I also have bad ovaries and am almost 27 and wanted to get married and have kids relatively soon. I just want him to be ready. Hes 28

In 2008 I went thro something similiar where my ex was messing about pretending he was single. While he hadn't slept with other girls it was conversations etc n wen I found out he broke up with me. He said I was too possessive, religion was an issue etc. Cos I love him so much For 4 months I kept trying to get him back and did. It was perfect absolutely perfect till about 2 months ago we were doing the long distance thing for the third year n he breaks
Up with me saying he got tired of waiting. 11 yrs later I'm now 34 I was 28 then and wish now I had left then. What I'm trying to say to u is that it may seem hard to let go of him now cos of ur age but trust me better now than later. I'm 34 now no kids. He can go off and be with some younger women. Find a better man now, men don't change if he isn't ready he might never be. I mean he has a child he shud be happy ur wanting to make a home. Instead he's not ready to commit. U don't no what he's getting up to and the real reason he won't move. I know it's hard but let go now ul be happier in the long run. I wish I did then cos it's so much harder now.

Hi sorry the above comment was meant for xtattoedgirlx :-)