Miserable Without Him

We were together for almost two years and always spoke of marriage. At about a year and a half into the relationship he had to move back home (500 miles away) but was going to return in one year. We lasted about 5 months in the long distance. Out of nowhere he started acting weird, and sure enough my worst fear came true. He broke up with me. We got back together a month later, but then 2 months after that he was engaged to a new girl. I was and still am heartbroken. I dont think I ever got closure. We loved each other so much. He used to be crazy about me and now we dont even speak. And he gets married to this new girl next week. I dont understand him. We were best friends before even dating and when we broke up he said that he never wanted to completely lose me and that we would always be best friends. But now he wont give me the time of day. For some reason he is infatuated with this girl. That's the worst part. I was insulted that we had talked of marriage and dated for 2 yrs and he was with this girl for 2 months before proposing to her. Even through that, I still can't get mad at him. It's been 8 months and I still feel miserable. I feel like something is wrong with me. I don't know how to be me without him. I am just absolutely miserable and it breaks my heart even more to know that he is getting married next week. And to see pictures of them together..I cant help but to think that that used to be me! He LOVED me! What happened?!?

Mug86 Mug86
2 Responses May 25, 2009

Your story is so much similar to mine. The only thing is that our relation lasted for 3 years,and almost all 3 years we were on distance as he lived in another country. I thought that such kind of love which we had didnt have place in this world before. We went though so many barriers and problems together. I sacrified myself for him,i gave up my parents,my brother,my granny,my friends,my own huge great appartment,my good job and i moved to country he lived in. We spent together 2 month,and finally when came the hardest moment,when his parents were aginst our relations - he left me,besides in rude,heartless way. All his words of love,amazing emails,kisses,touchs lost sense at that moment. I was there alone and still without car in new country so when iI decided to go back to my country and asked him to give me a ride to airport he said:" i will help and drop you where you need only if you won't make scenes as you are doing now"(he meant my crying). SO then i did the best thing - i said he to go away and pushed out the door.<br />
His parents intoduced him to one girl that they think is a good match for thier son. And i know that he is in contact with her now. He is fine and quite happy. Now in 4 days it will be 1 month after our break-up. And i realize that even when each morning i wake up with fear,sadness,anger,offence - i am still very strong. Each day wich i spent without him with my head up makes me so proud of myself. And i'm getting stronger! Yes, i still cant stop loving him and thinking each moment of him and its natural cos my love was REAL in contast to his"love". But day after day i realize more and more that first of all i should LOVE MYSELF! So what is going on when we love ourselves? Here's the answer: 1) men always like girls who love themselves and behave independanly and *****-like.2) when we know our real value-we won't suffer so much when some bastard leaves us.<br />
I know we are sociable beings and we need someone to be near us. But before that we should put ourselves on the first place in the list of our priorities. TO BE SATISFIED AND HAPPY WITH YOUSELF is main. I'm not saying about egoism. I'm saying about healthy selfrespect and love. Then i expect men will love us more and also all close people who are around us.<br />
www.2knowmyself.com - i visit this site and read some articles over there when tears come and when i feel myself like dieing. <br />
Ah...well so lets cheer up,girl! ANd lets believe that all the best in our life is still ahed. And lets take our past relations as experiance that will make as smarted and more mature.

Hi, look I understand that you and only you could know the true history between you two, but when a man does the whole "I love you today but tomorrow i love someone else" he didnĀ“t love you trully, he never knew what he wanted with you, it sound awfull i know but I think that the true is better than living in lies. Its gonna take more than 8 months to forget someone you loved that much but it will go away, try not to think about his wedding or anything for that matter, am sure there is someone for us out there! You hang up there!