Just a Reminder

 Dear broken hearts,

So OK, we'd better gradually accept that we've lost the love of someone that meant happiness to us, for different reasons.

Now if we have lost one person, it won't make it any better to lose 2, that is the one that left, and ourselves.

Do take heart, understand what you're missing in that someone cause that will help you smother the pain, then build up a stronger you, able to give and to receive.

EarthlingWise EarthlingWise
46 Responses Jun 3, 2009

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Comforting post.Thank you.

I hate that I am going through this ! I miss him so much........in everything i see ! i have been crying for weeks now and i can't take it anymore !

You must go out and see the world, you can exist and be happy again.

I had the same feelings you have now, but they lose their strength as time goes by...
This pain later on will be just another experience for you! Don't concentrate on what you are missing, but try to notice what you have.
Unfortunately pain doesn't go away fast, but eventually it does.
And quite often one realises that is happier without that person, than was with him/her...

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That last part does not make sense to me…What I'm missing - hugs, kisses, loving words, arousal - how will that help smother the pain?
It's missing! It hurts to go on through life without any of it.

I cannot find the energy to build up a stronger me...


I have friends who need your wisdom.

this s so right

I dont get this? It’s a riddle, I am not able to diciphe riddles now

That story became popular in spite of me. The idea was simple, don't lose yourself when times are rough, you are still your best ally in life.

that was stupid

my gradually learning to accept is very very hard, slow, sad and unbelievable, my boyfriend and best friend passed away 3 months ago(suddenly). He was my world for 11 years and for me, I am in the grieving stage, and I’ve learne that grief HAS TO BE WALKED THROUGH! YOU CANNOT AVOID IT. “THERE IS A TIME TO MOURN’ AND "A TIME TO HEAL”. I think I will not so much as stronger, but more wiser, empathetic and loving towards other suffering folks LOSS comes in many shapes:loss of youth, career, health, loved ones family, dreams, more... <br />
but I truly believe GOD has a plan that is beyond our capacity to understand. We are carried with time...

True that! GOD WILL NEVER GIVE US ANYTHING WE CANNOT HANDLE. Sometimes, what more burdens us is we carry our problems alone. LIFT UP EVERYTHING TO GOD. He will definitely help you carry anything that weighs up on you. Pray.Trust.Believe.Receive. that's it :)) God bless!

Thank you, that really does make sense

Broken hearts take alot of time to mend, not heal. I feel as though they NEVER heal & the worst broken heart, is the enduring broken heart. that pains never goes away.<br />
<br />
I do hope that reading these posts encourage me to try again. As of right now, I'm to defeated to try.

I know this is a late reply for you and I hope that you have found some peace by now. It is so incredibly hard to imagine the one you have given your heart to no longer wants to be with you and even worse, is giving his 'love' to someone else. But hold on to this .... you have that capacity to love, deeply and sincerely and truly , still inside of you. Take a breath, take a step back, give yourself a little rest , and then step forward again, like the brave and beautiful person that you are, and just watch the world for a while. Then, if someone comes along who seems to be worthy of your love, take your time and try again.

I am aso heartbroken, she left me because she didnt want that i suffer anymore since she couldnt leave her old boyfriend, with every second of my spare time i have to think of them, if i would see that guy i would tear him to shreds for taking the rest of happines of my pitch-dark soul, i just cannot go on anymore, my friends say i will get through it because they say i am strong, but they don´t know i am just a pathetic weakling, now that i have lost her

We all feel like pathetic weaklings when it happens, but, it's true, you will get over it.

i have a broken heat to , the one that i love is with another one right know , and in my head keep think that he is with her right know he send her the same message that he used to send me hes telling her the same thing that he told me ........ and i feel that i just want to stop thinking of hem to shutdown my brain for once .....what should i do plz help

Decide that life is bigger than him, open the window, don't live in the staleness of despair, just step outside.

i have a broken heat to , the one that i love is with another one right know , and in my head keep think that he is with her right know he send her the same message that he used to send me hes telling her the same thing that he told me ........ and i feel that i just want to stop thinking of hem to shutdown my brain for once .....what should i do plz help

It is very hard and youd think you stronger with every break up but it doesnt feel like it. i guess thats how you truly know that your love true. It just takes the right person to appreciate it and return it.

Thanks for the post! My husband of 32 yrs recently left me and I needed to be reminded that I need to find and take care of me.

Thanks for the post! My husband of 32 yrs recently left me and I needed to be reminded that I need to find and take care of me.

I've been dumped this week although he hadn't got the decency to tell me I am but I know he is seeing someone else as it's so obvious. We had a long distance relationship which was very difficult and his new woman lives nearby but I just wish he would tell me the truth. He just says that he is in a bad place right now and can't offer any commitment to me which would be fine it was true. Haven't felt like this for years and don't like it. Still want him so much as never felt such a connection with anyone and I am in my 40s.

You're not old. Other people your age are single like you.

I just feel so empty and so scared and always on the verge of tears. I'm emotionally exhausted. I don,t even know how I am. I was with my partner for so long. 17 years. and now I'm back on the floor. 40, empty, numb, scared. I'm about to lose everything. I think I will be alone forever.

I can, but I can tell you, some life hardships are so more concrete, a heartbreak will feel unreal one day.

It's funny how desperate of company I have become. I'm so much afraid of being alone because then I can't stop my self of thinking about him, and how he left me. Although I know I'm only hurting my self.<br />
It's very hard to accept that he doesn't care about me any more and that he doesn't need my love. <br />
<br />
But I was thinking - almost everyone has been broaken hearted atleast one time in life, but still for each person it seems like no one else can understand these feelings and pain... :)

im in the same situation

Well, few months already have passed, and I can tell you, that it does get better. I have been to some places all by my self, and it's not that bad after all.
I still feel hurt and want the company, but not so desperate any more.
I guess that time does heal...

My love loss is very different than everyone else.. The man I loved for 3 years became jealous and obsessed. He stabbed me giving me 15 stitches. He is in jail now, I cant see or talk to him. Its crazy but Im just so broken hearted without him

You miss the feeling of loving and being loved. What's broken will not be mended, especially if only one of you is willing to.

I'm obessessing about getting my ex boyfriend back. It's been almost 3 months since we broke up.... shouldn't I be over this already????? What is wrong with me?

Well, we need time to get to know people.

I believe in a lot about myself. I find that I have lost the ability to believe in other people

If you believe in your own ability to love, then prolly other people possess the same ability.

I remember sitting here for over 6 hours as I was in so much shock I felt nothing to protect myself... everything fades away at some point...

it's one thing if my someone would have just left me, it's another to suddenly find out that over the past 3 years she has been faithful maybe 9 months of it. I'm beyond broken hearted. When you find out that not only her but everyone around you can not be trusted. I am left with my entire perception of life shaken and radically altered. Not only am I to the point of never thinking I can love again but I don't think I can trust anyone. No one is truely my friend or someone would have said something. If she didn't leave the baby with me to force me to raise him I am positive I would have already killed myself now. I can't stand to live in a world with such selfish bastards in it. I do not belong here anymore

No stronger than you. You must decide to book yourself a trip to a better mental state, prepare yourself as if for a trip.

you guys are so strong, im crumbling in pieces right now, so exhausted with pain.<br />
just when i think im having a good day all of it comes crashing down on me at once

Maybe, it has never been easy for me. I understand the more involved we are the harder it gets. We have no choice but to heal yet because life is short.

its easier for some people than others to get over someone..because all cases are different ecspecially when its a long term relationship and children involved and some people are just stronger than others..i wish it was easy for me..i pray everyday to make it easy but it gets harder.

yes its a life shattering incident to lose someone you care however, your destiny is not tied to someone who left. that is why is extremely important to let go and have your life back

It is so, but it sounds easier than it actually is :)

This is good stuff. I especially like the last comment before mine--"Life is not the same again, but maybe we know ourselves better." <br />
It's hard to imagine that anything can be learned, but, if like me you believe that that is why we are here--to learn and help one another, then I guess it makes sense.

Yes, life doesn't wait, anyway. We have to go back to the very source of a particular love, what made that affection possible, and also to learn from that experience. Life is not the same again, but maybe we know ourselves better.

I know this was written quite a while ago but there's wisdom here....learning to accept and then strenthening so as to not close the heart.

Yes, probably, although we expect not to be fooled again!

Yes, with a little help from our friends. :)

Very strong and inspiring, I totally agree, it's time to love ourselves.

I'd say, go out even if you don't want to (not to get yourself soused in alcohol though!), this will show you you are able to love more than one living thing on earth, this will give your frustrated soul something to admire again.

i have a broken heart too. i don't know how to make myself feel better.

Start by giving your time volunteering at a food bank, serving meals at a shelter for abused women, children...heck...even animals. Never grow weary in doing good for others. That will help you see that you make a difference and that we feel better when we fill our spare hours with something to keep us busy and helpful. It takes some time. I was asked for a divorce four and a half years ago. I still hurt. But it gets better little by little. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and in my case, kinder.