"that's Why They Call It A Crush"

I don't even know where to begin. Bradley and I have been amazing friends for almost two years now, and I have been completley in love with him for a year and a half. I never knew I could feel this way about anyone. I would literally do ANYTHING for him. He's one of my best friends, and I feel truly blessed to even be his friend. I have never been in love w/ anyone else before, so yes, I guess he is my first love. I was always so scared to tell him how I really felt because I was terrified of rejection or that it would freak him out so much that he wouldnt even want to be my friend at all anymore. We had started to get a lot closer. We talked on the phone literally every single day, most days more than once. We told each other everything, things that we wouldn't tell the rest of our friends, and he was the one who got me through a tough time. So I was starting to think that he might like me too, and finally gained teh courage to tell him how I really felt. He told me that he loved me but I was to much like a sister to him for him to think of me in that way. He said that even though I had just poured my heart out to him there would not be any awkwardness between us or anything like that. Well there's no awkwardness because he dosen't even talk to me anymore. My worse fear came true, and now I don't even have him as a friend. It's been a month and we have not had any kind of contact what so ever, and it is killing me inside. What's worse is that everywhere I look something reminds me of him. Every song I hear reminds me of him. I constantly just want to break down and cry. All my friends keep telling me to be patient and that he'll come around and he'll start to miss me, but we haven't gone a whole month without talking since we met. I truly don't think he will ever talk to me again and even if he does I don't see how it could ever go back to how things used to be. I hate feeling like this. My friends keep telling me to date again, but I know that no other guy could possible compare to bradley, and I don't know when I will ever start to feel better. love sucks.

static5606 static5606
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 7, 2010

That really does suck! Look at it this way though... you couldn't deny your feelings for him, regardless of whether you told him or not. It is better to wear your heart on your sleeve than to not bare it at all. At least you know now.<br />
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If you truly are best friends, you will be again. You will also be showered with much love and affection from the guy you eventually meet and who will truly deserve and appreciates all you have to give :)