How could you make me hurt so bad?

You came back in my life, told me you still love me. That you want to marry me and that you can't live without me. 

Last night, I asked you if we could try and make things work out. You said you can but the question is if I can. I am willing to compromise because I want to be with you so bad. Everything was going well until you asked for something stupid, I asked you what for because I don't understand why. The next minute, you called me a psycho and ignorant. You know that I can't get through the day without you, so you're taking full advantage of it by telling me that you won't talk to me. You said you hate me and you want to put a bullet in my skull because I drive you insane. You told me to shut up and go die. I've loved you more than anyone can do. How can you say you can't live without me when you pretty much said that you want me dead? Just because you're pissed off at me. I am blinded by my feelings for you that I don't even care whether you treat me like crap. But I am tired of feeling horrible. I can't take it anymore. I can't believe the pain that I'm feeling now because of loving you.

Today, I keep on telling myself that I won't let my heart run my life anymore. I want to stop loving you.  I tell myself that I'll be fine without you. I want to move on. I want the old me back.

justcantlivealie justcantlivealie
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 10, 2010

love should not hurt - but loving is confusing and contradictory - it takes more than courage to quit loving, to let go of our loved ones, even if they hurt us and not know how to love for real <br />
love should not hurt - but loving we don't know how <br />
love should not hurt - and when we find true love we learn that the other one was not love but a mistake

Love is a wonderfull thing when its constructive and can be given from both sides. Theres no comprimise in a relationship nor can you change the person to suit your style. Yet they say that opposites attract. Is society so polarized that we don't see that some are using abuse to get there way? Why do we allow ourselves to be pulled down to there level when we are so much better than that? We can do so much more in our lives. Its a wonderfull gift we posess yet we are not guifted enough to reconize it. Justcant, its forunate for you that this relationship didn't go any further because you would have been the many who fell victom to this crazed person. Love should only hurt if it isn't returned, not because you are taking physical and emotional abuse by some animal who thinks that brutelizing you is the only solution to getting his way. Again there is no comprimise when you are putting yourself in danger.<br />
Look for signs my dear and be viduelent at all costs. Don't be afraid of reporting this abuse and if you need help, ask for it. There plenty of organizations that are willing to protect you. <br />
<br />
If you are willing to add me to your circle, I would be more than happy to stir you in the right direction if you need help and if you want to talk ok?<br />
<br />
Dale