I Can't Let Go.

At the moment I feel lost like my heart has been ripped out. I met what I thought to be an amazing guy, we had a casual relationship and talked everyday for months. But then I asked for more, he backed off then told me to go be with other guys because things weren't working out. I was devastated. Not long after he came back into my life but he had changed. Would only contact me if he wanted something. I asked him out and he said he was mot ready for a relationship at this stage of his life, as silly as it may sound I had already fallen for him. We carried on for 8 months, during this time he would drop me then pick me back up again. I would ask if we could spend some quality time together but all I got was excuses for why he couldn't.

 Then he finally dropped me for good. And now he has a girlfriend and is treating her in a way he never treated me. He takes her away in the weekends and they are always together. I feel so heartbroken, why is he being so good to her and never to me? He acted so ashamed of me I was never once invited around to his house to stay but yet she is always around there, we would meet in a park late at night like I was his little secret. She has met all of his friends and he has met all of her friends. I cry myself to sleep every single night wishing he was next to me but I know he will be cuddled up to her. I just do no understand why he gives everyone else a chance apart from me. What is so wrong with me? He did text me a week ago I thought he was being friendly but in the end he told me he wants me out of his life. Now I feel empty. I have turned to smoking and have been put on anti-depressants because I have been extremely depressed about it. Why was he so ashamed of me? Why is everyone else good enough to go out with and not me?

 Please give me some advice...

PinkBeastBaby PinkBeastBaby
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 12, 2010

He didn’t want to commit himself to you and told you do date other guys. Then he came back; you say he changed, and the way he had changed was not for the better. He said he wasn’t ready for a commitment (yet again) and he continued to use you because he only ever came back when he wanted something from you. It’s clear that from then on he would only ever use you. The best thing he did was to call closure with you; or, would you prefer that he continued to use you?<br />
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He has a girlfriend now and, as you see it, he treats her well by introducing her to his friends and she is always around him; It isn’t that he gives everyone else a chance, you need to get that bit right. He didn’t give you what he didn’t want to give to *you* … and you only. That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. It simply means he doesn’t want to commit to you.<br />
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You need to stand up! You need to get over the guy and carry on with your life. Consider that he will not be too interested in how you are coping and that you *have* to get over him. Don’t make the silly mistake of allowing him back to you, because he will only use you yet again. Smoking and tablets to ease the pain are not the answer here! Get yourself into circulation and give yourself time to be confident. Most importantly, break free from the mindset you have that there is something wrong with you and that you are not good enough; this is what you feel and *not* what you are and it can only ever be you who changes this way of thinking.<br />
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~F~

I'm so sorry for your heart break. Sometimes that's just the way love goes. You will never truly give yourself until you are with another whom your heart speaks to. When that happens, you would do anything for that other person even if it's so uncharacteristic of you. That's what happened to him. Understand that it's not that you're not good enough. It's just that you're not the one for him. As for yourself, do not settle for less than unconditional love. Yes it hurts to love someone and not have it returned but you can't force love. The only thing you can do is to let him go and keep finding the other half of your heart who will treat you like his very existence depended on it.