What Happened?

Hes been distant from me for the last couple of days, but he was sick so i figured that is what was wrong. I came home from school and he came to my house after he gets out from the University. I started cooking pasta salad because i wanted it, but the night before i tried kissing him well making out and he didnt kiss me back. I needed to know what that was about so I asked. He told me it would hurt him if i knew and i would hate him forever. I have been engaged to his man for almost a year, dating for 2 years. I can take anything i tell him, he tells me he just doesnt feel in love with me anymore. After both of us crying for an hour and not being able to figure out why, I ask him to just stay here and help me fix it, or walk out that door because you are giving up on me. He leaves...throwing out 2 years. I know thats not a long time to some but we were engaged, i was moving in soon. I dont understand what did i do wrong? We've been talking, but he wont talk about what happened its only been a couple days, but it seems like forever. He helped me in every aspect of my life and I cant just let that go, unlike him. Maybe im too needy? I just cant help but think i did something to cause this. What do i do? How do i feel better? He says he needs time to figure his feelings out, but i cant sit around forever and wait, it just hurts so much.

KrystalLiebe KrystalLiebe
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 20, 2010

I feel for you. My boyfriend of 6 years did the same thing to me a month ago. He told me he didn't know what was wrong...that even though he loved me he didn't feel our relationship was working...and so now I'm sitting here questioning every move I've made over the last few years, trying to figure out what I did wrong. But I'm starting to realize (and soon enough you will too) that I didn't do anything wrong. In fact, everything I did was a direct result of the love I held for him. And if that's not enough for him then he's right: it is him and not me. You'll come to that place soon sweetheart. I'm sorry you're going through this. I know exactly how it feels. If you need to talk, I'm here and I'm a good listener :)

I know how you feel, I just went through something similar. You feel betrayed and lost. You put so much into it thinking all was going great to suddenly have this thrown in your face. He is unworthy of your love. I know its not easy to hear someone say it but he is. It will take some time but with helps from friends and family the hurting will stop. Main thing is to let it go and say to yourself "I deserve better than to be treated in this fashion" and keep busy. Its only when you are idle does it all come rushing back to hurt you again. Be patient and keep busy. Just know that he choose to end it and not you so he is the one that is giving up on you.