I Think I Lost Her... My Heart Is Broken

Well some time ago my wife told me we where heading up for a divorce. She asked me out of the room but I convinced her to make it work. Months went by and I was trying the best I could, improving in so many ways. I have developed and amazing love for my wife thru the years and I am so much in love with her. She is and amazing and beautiful woman. After about ten months she told me someone was trying to contact her by email. We find out she was wrong, but she kept the ilussion and developed (or realized) she had developed feelings for this person... she fell in love. The person wasn't even contacting her any more, but she continued her dream. Before christmas she confessed she doesn't love me any more. She tought that divorce was the solution and that I had to leave. She finally realized that her emotional affair was only on her mind (as the other guy  never really tryed to contact her) but I guess now she has to deal with erasing her dream, work hard in school and find out if she really want to make things work. She says that all this made her realize that her love for me was gone and all this started years ago because of the way I treated her. She also hurted me in different ways, but her not loving me any more and besides that developing a great love for an imaginary affair, it has really devastated me.

We are starting counseling... she wants to make a decision that she doesn't want to regret later. She feels sorry for me, for our 4 kids, for our almost 16 years of marriage, but now only time will tell if we are going to stay together. For now she doesn't want me close. She needs her time alone to think about averything. I am just hangin on my hopes, which she suggest: don't hang on to many hopes... I did try my best. I will try my best, but my love for her is very strong I am willing to wait as long as she needs and I will keep hoping for her love to come back.

My heart is broken and this is my story

unoone unoone
41-45, M
Feb 23, 2010