An Unspeakable Void

A friend tears your heart like no other can.

Intelligence is not intuition.

Questions are not compassion.

He listened to my stories; I thought it was interest.

He talked to me every day; I thought he was loyal.

He challenged my thoughts; I thought he valued my words.

He told me about his conquests, his successes, his fears, his obstacles; I thought he pulled me closer.

But I was his mirror.

He loved his reflection in my eyes.

Chasing him like a child chases a hero.

Holding onto him like a child clings to the wisdom of a mentor.

But then I needed.

I asked for him.

He couldn't see himself in my eyes.

He saw me quaking, scared and broken.

He left me without a word when I shattered his reflection; clouded his radiance with my shadows.

He left me alone in the dark.

simonebolivar simonebolivar
36-40, F
4 Responses Feb 27, 2010

Simone:<br />
<br />
It is a cruel fact of life that in the most difficult times of life, when we are broken, or in pain and hurting, that we find out on whom, we can depend. <br />
<br />
I was sad when I read your story. I wish I could hug you... I know what it feels like to have a great friend abandon you, when you need them the most... A part of me died the day it happened to me.<br />
I don't think I have fully recovered from that even now, after 5 years have passed!<br />
<br />
I have become more wise though. Maybe you'd like to chat sometime.... I am all about meeting new people on here, and making new friends. I wont let you "suck the life out of" our room if we talk....You might surprise yourself and find that you have a new EP friend that does enjoy your company!

i know how u feel ..i lost a guy i used to love verry much and also friends and have no family n, i feel broken hearted

ah. In this case, he was just a selfish friend who never was a friend at all, but someone who did enjoy the way I reflected him. I thought the world of him but when I asked for help, he shut down and closed me out because the nautre of our friendship was not to step out of roles he predetermined. I just didn't know because I'd haden't asked before or least not during a time as difficult as this, so if he shunned me before I didn't notice. 10 years down the tubes because I got hurt. <br />
<br />
It happens. You get hurt, you're not as fun as you used to be, you learn quickly that not all your friends are truly there for mutual support. Some you knew about. Some will shock you.

and he left himself.